Well I just looked at my previous post and the poop smeared writing was on the wall. But did i have to read it the day before my birthday? Come on! Yep I was let go from the insurance world the day before i turned 35. In some ways it was a relief, but in one big way it is not. Yep money. Sure i was not making a ton but better than now!
I have filed for unemployment and had to send more documents to prove that I am what I am. Who the hell would want to be me? If by some chance my ID was stolen it would be returned in a matter of days. But I have been writing more and plan on updating this more often. I was paid a high compliment by she who cannot be named that my writing was well written. Never mind the content but you take what you can get.
The job market is really awful and even worse where I am living (if you can call it living). In the past when I was in crisis the nights were the toughest times. Now it is bad in the morning when i am puttering around and cannot sit still, trying to plan out how to be productive and not feel like a loser.
So on top of my relationship slowly tanking and losing a job i was not sold on (sold out maybe?) my Uncle passed away as well. For some reason it has really bothered me. I had not seen him for some time but I really liked him. I look around here and see these inconsiderate rude guys and think they are not half the man my uncle was. He didn't make a ton of money, but he enjoyed what he did, doing handyman work. He loved my aunt and I do not mean in the flowery overpriced vacation way. He understood the day to day things that show that you are tuned in and care. He drove her to work every morning, made her meals and would get up before her to turn on the space heater in the bathroom so she would not have to walk on cold tiles. I miss my family more than i ever thought i would. I miss the gathering and ball busting that goes on. My uncle was there with a smile and would often shake his head at our salty family. He was a Cowboys fan and I truly think that is the reason why i no longer hate that franchise.
Tomorrow is another day of searching for jobs and trying to not feel so damn down in the AM. I think of how George Carlin said in an interview about how dying would suck because he didn't want to miss anything that was going on. He loved sitting down and writing and just being around. I may never do this for a living but it does cheer me up... most of the times.
