Mid Card Mania Pt. 1

I am not sure why I am writing so many words on a match that happened nine years ago and really was not that great. I have been wanting to do a section called Held Up where I re watch matches etc. of the past. Not just the wrestling mind you but other films as well. My problem is I have so many ideas for projects but also other responsibilities and excuses that keep me from doing it. Case in point last night I planned on doing a second watching of this match with a notebook at hand and fell asleep watching Platoon on Spike (why I still watch movies that I own on edited TV I have no idea).

So I guess why I wanted to write about this match is I wanted to find something positive. The whole world, especially the internet fans of wrestling are so negative about pretty much everything. And they are especially hard on CZW. CZW holds a special place in my heart and I still check out some of their stuff now and then. It was around 2000 or so I guess when I started getting into the Indys and CZW and RF video are to blame and although both have huge glaring flaws I guess they hold a place in my stinky heart. So I guess I could call this the first write up of Mid Card Mania or Accentuate the Positive, probably should just call this JB has awful taste in wrestling and not in the hip contrarian way but the too dumb to even be called a mark way.
CZW A Higher Level of Pain April 13, 2002: 4 Way Match with Some Barb Wire Ladder Deal

The Cast of Characters:

The Messiah: Owww Billy. Later in his career the Messiah got gear and for some reason he lost some of his appeal to me. I liked his black pants and tee look, kind of like your friend’s older brother who was the best skateboarder in town and would stick up for you when he wasn’t hassling you. I am not sure what happened to the Messiah, I remember the story of him getting his thumb hacked off and somewhere in a box of unmarked tapes I have the America’s Most Wanted episode that has the interview and reenactment, I could go more into the thumb story and all but is Lizzy Borden a woman worth getting your thumb lopped off for? Sadly there would have a time when I would have said uhh maybe. I remember a fond time in my life living a medium sized hermit life when I would order a CZW show as soon as it was available on Smart Mark and it would show up like clockwork on Saturday and I would spend most of the day watching it and kicking back…good times. I bring this up because I recall having the death match tournament one when Mondo wrestles the Messiah who was a surprise participant and I actually was really pulling for the guy. I would be interested to see if my memory serves correct that on those super early XPW tapes that the Messiah matches were the best things on there.

Adam Flash: I always wonder if Adam Flash’s gear worked against him in the long run. I for some reason kind of dug it and I hope he scored Slipknot tickets for life. He usually had nice khaki shorts with a tucked in Slipknot shirt and odd printed boots. One time when I was visiting my parents I flipped on TNA when it was still on FSN and lo and behold there was Flash in a squash against Monty Brown and he took that pounce almost better than anyone had at that time. I am sure I have the match somewhere on one of my odd TV tapes at the time. Flash is a pretty good wrestler who has been around for a long time and never got a big break. When I was really starting to get into the East Coast Indys around 2000 I used to read Eric Gargulo’s columns and he talked about how a show about Adam Flash would have been way more interesting than MTVs Tough Enough. Or at least they should have had Al Snow’s students meet Flash to see the other side. It is funny looking back that in some regards Flash came out ahead, sure he was not on MTV but he is still working. What happened to the Tough Enough kids? Excluding Nitro and Josh the others did a few indy bookings here and there and that was it. Adam Flash >Tough Enough. I think some of the biggest leg drops in history have been done by Flash and to my knowledge he has never broken his tail bone. Long ago I must have re wound the leg drop from the ladder to the floor on Justice Pain a million times.

John Kronus: I was fairly late to the ECW party and came aboard when I finally had unlimited PPV while working for a cable company. And mind you not like the high falutin’ On Demand we have now but 2 channels that showed movies most of the time and on Sundays would show the PPVs. The Eliminators were gone and Kronus was teaming with New Jack which was an ok team. With Kronus as The Eliminators they were a fantastic team. I know a lot of folklore spins it where Heymans marketing and hype is what got them this title. But I tell you maybe it is just my messed up way of thinking but I would much rather watch an Eliminators match than a British Bull Dogs one. Now Kronus is gone and I was kind of sad when I heard about it. I heard that he was a really goofy bastard and Saturn was his handler. I just imagine how sad and puppy dog he looked when he found out that Saturn was heading to the WCW. It is interesting I think of him being gentle and Lenny from Mice and Men when he looked so crazy with nutty tattoos and all. Maybe it was the printed letter from his son in the Observer where he talked about his dad teaching him flips that makes me think of him as maybe not such a bad dude. Kronus’ weight would often fluctuate, one show I would see him and he looked jacked and then he would look super doughy. But no matter what size man was he graceful. The vampire in me always knew you could count on him for a massive blade job, although often it was not called for but I guess that is part of what made Kronus Kronus.

Chris Hamrick: He is sort of an internet darling, and no I am not talking about the Facebook posting but the positive posting and sections of podcast like on Segunda Caida. Hamrick is the movie you watch some late night when you can’t sleep that turns out to be great and better than the movie that you spent $20 to see a few nights ago. I used to do a lot of my tape collecting via Ebay and for some reason picked up a Best of New Jack and if I recall it was a Hamrick and Julio Dienro match that turned into a New Jack raping match. Watching it you kind of felt like you were watching a initiation for the new guys and it was rough. Hamrick wears odd gear and his face looks older than what he is. He takes some of the nuttiest bumps and has broken his tail bone and he probably did it in front of thirty fans in a tiny gym. His team with Smothers as Southern Commodity is fantastic and makes me think I need to get some of my old IWA tapes sent to me. He is one of those wrestlers that if I know he is in a match I know that it has a pretty good chance of being entertaining. Give me Hamrick over any smooth skinned flippity floppy or fake ass Dynamite Davey Richards any day.

The Match Itself: So I am not sure when I first watched this match but I finally gave it a second viewing this festive Labor Day Ultra Chill Weekend. A nice night of baseball and I broke the lose while I am there live curse of the San Jose Giants and felt good after my work out but knew I was living on borrowed time so I popped this in before I took a snooze. It starts with some profane promos and maybe I am old fashioned and I am not sure where I learned about promos (I guess from Strider who learned from Dory Funk Jr.) but I agree with the idea that when you curse in a promo it looks low class and comes off unintelligent (again yes I see the humor in using intelligence with wrestling). I do have to chuckle when Flash does the whole “Hey I will be right back let me go get my barb wire ladder.” Hamrick comes out then and gets into a debate with Messiah and says some cringe worthy stuff and at this point I just want the match to start before anyone else talks about Rob Black’s female friends.

So Hamrick and Messiah start throwing mediocre punches and Flash comes in for a double team and suddenly Kronus runs in making it maybe a tag match or a four way who knows CZW was never good about explain stipulations and rulings. This turns into what the kids call these days a Hot Mess. Garguilo’s commentary is sort of annoying but at least he didn’t go into one of his outrage rants with the cursing and I have to give him some credit as he tried to give some back story about Kristi Myst being Hamrick’s ex wife and the current beau of the Messiah (a work by the way and Hamrick and her only have matching tattoos and probably some memories of a Motel 6).

So nothing extraordinary is happening just some brawling and the crowd starts to turn on Kronus who looks really heavy and is wearing warm up pants and a t-shirt and is super slow and looks winded. Unfortunately the signature Hamrick bump I was looking forward to does not get filmed as the camera is on a ladder neck tie into the post ARGH!! So Messiah gets decent color and at some point to no one’s surprise Kronus gets color as well. Flash hits a pretty hard chair shot on Messiah to the back of his head and they go up top after Flash hit a pretty good Cactus Clothesline.

Now here is where there is a nice small detail in the match. Flash puts Messiah face down on a table and Messiah does a great job at looking dazed and around trying to figure out where Flash is and what is going on. Flash goes up to hit his leg drop and Messiah moves and I am not sure if I am impressed with the dedication to your art form to do a dangerous good shot at my tail bone being shattered leg drop from about twenty feet or wondering what the hell is he thinking. CZW isn’t going to pay your medical bills, maybe throw you a benefit but I am pretty sure they do not offer a decent health plan. After a small amount of selling they end up on even higher ground and Flash hits a great looking DDT on the wooden stage and wallops Messiah with about 7 light tubes that are bundled together. It makes a great sound but I think it was a foul tip which is fine as I am sure Messiah would not be happy to lose an ear in the mid card.

Hamrick did a good job bumping around for Kronus and Kronus hit a pretty nice moonsault and his girth actually made it look even cooler. Then the blown cost you a job spot happens as Hamrick climbs up Flash’s shoulders and attempts a elevated leg drop and Kronus is way too far out but Hamrick already committed. I have to say amongst the “You fucked up” chants Hamrick does a good job selling the tail bone. Then all of a sudden inside the ring Flash drills Hardtop the ref and that is the end, so I guess barbed wire ladders and brawling with absolutely no ten or even twenty counts is fine but they draw the line at putting your hands on the ref. Flash and Hamrick high tail it out of there and Messiah gets on the stick and gets in some more profanity and they chase after the heels (I guess Hamrick and Flash are heels oh CZW you can be so confusing). The crowd seems kind of let down and confused and ready to move on to the next match. So we had some big spots, double blade jobs and no finish and not that much advancement of the angle. I would have dug a Flash and Hamrick regular team but alas it never happened.

The following is a snippet of a great interview with Chris Hamrick regarding the match:
QUESTION: You worked with The Messiah one time when you and Adam Flash wrestled he and John at CZW A Higher Level of Pain. What was your opinion on the quality of that match? Is the Internet rumor true John Zandig was angry that you botched a flying leg drop during that match and therefore he refused to invite you back to CZW?

ANSWER: I thought the match was the drizzling shits. It wasn't even a match. It was just four guys doing nothing. If it had been a regular match, it would have been better.I never even got to do anything with Messiah except for the promo. I hate to say it, but Kronus fucked everything up. I did it as a favor to John Zandig, since he couldn't get Kaos. The leg drop spot was fucked up because when I went up to get on Adam's shoulders, when I looked down, Kronus had rolled out too far for me to hit him from where I was. I had no other choice but to jump. I had never heard that rumor, but thanks for letting me in on it. All those nights I sat at home and wondered why Zandig never called me back, wouldn't take any other bookings, just hoping he would call and book me. Well - damn - that explains it. Zandig, if you are reading this, I did you the one favor and this is how you repay me. Now, you can't afford me.

In Closing: So I guess it is odd that I wrote a couple of thousand words on this match but hey gotta stay sharp I guess. As for hot messes it was somewhat enjoyable and was more about the potential than the execution. I have a few ideas on how to continue this project and have a few subject ideas that I want to go more in depth. Maybe through writing about these mid card, insignificant matches in the grand scheme of wrestling I will be able to put a finger on why these matches appeal to me. And as a wise man who was in the mid card on a show once said to me “The world can’t end every day.”