First and Ten... The Journey Begins... again

When I am on my deathbed, or shall I say if I am lucky enough to have some time to reflect my life before I die I wonder if I will regret all the time I sat at the keyboard or with notebook writing about silly things like wrestling or comics. Will in those last moments will I wonder what possessed my mid 30s self to watch all 80 episodes of the HBO series 1st and Ten.

I had been on the fence about picking this up and then one day at a Walmart in Mountain View I said what the fuck. I am not sure but it might have been one of the first days that I found the Wal Mart. And I know that sounds bizarre in many ways as they are everywhere but out here it is a little harder to find one. A good Saturday that makes me homesick out here is if I go to the Wal Mart and then have Chiles for lunch. Many enlightened ones in my general vicinity would look at this as hill billyish and the epitome of what is wrong with this dumpy German kids from Western Kansas but hey I say it is the chunks of sausage in the mother fucking gravy. So I braved the people circling the five dollar DVD bin and glanced at the shelf to see for $5 1st and Ten the full show.

I have fond memories of this show and many times when I see certain actors I still associate them with their 1st and Ten characters. Donald Gibb will always be Dr. Death and Delta Burke will never be a Sugar Baker to me but the owner of the Bulls. I have scanned the disc and think I finished most of the first season but I decided I needed to go back and watch with notes. An interesting thing I noticed is around the third or fourth episode they got rid of the laugh track and added nudity. I dare you to find a better trade off in the history of television, canned laughter or beautiful natural eighties boobies?

I also hate how everyone was always so on Delta Burke in later years for being so big. Hey she was always somewhat of a thicker gal but who cares. When I was a young lad in Haysville I remember thinking she was dreamy and I realized I preferred black or brunette hair over the blondes. In one of the early episodes she said “You want some chicken Bob?” and I just thought wow that sounds dirty, so I guess that was the beginning of me reading into things. But then again I recall on an episode of Cheers when Sam and Diane were trying to figure out whose house they would go do it in Diane says about her place “It’s dirty” and Sam says “not if we care about each other”. What my young mind thought Diane was talking about at first was her vagina. So yes the seeds of my depravity began at an early age, thanks Ma and Da for not being so uptight about movies and such, Animal House at 6 a little iffy but it helped warp me to who I am today.

So without further ado I present the 1st and Ten Run downs. I am not sure how I will format this so it is an easy read, it will be a journey back in time. This is the run down of episode one and I should have the notes for 2 done soon. I have a long way to go, about 79 more episodes to be exact.

Episode 1: The Pilot

I saw the name Leslie Easterbrook in the opening credits, is that the blonde sex cop in Police Academy? I should go and look it up on IMDB but I had to unplug the internet cable doo hickey to set at the table. You gotta write about important shit like this at a table, oh and I have a big glass of water and a tumbler of Kamikaze shot mix as I try and make sense of my notes. Holy shit strike that from the record, Delta looks pretty slim and good in the first episode, but sadly episode 2 she starts wearing frumpier outfits. Delta Burke was Kristie Alley before their was A and E and all to do shows about her.

Now I broke one of my rules and did research a little bit about the show. This pilot I guess was for HBO which was trying to appeal to people making television to come over so they could be edgier and not have to worry about FCC regulations. That being said I was shocked at the beginning when Diane catches her husband greasing up tight end Todd Taylor. That is pretty risqué for the eighties I would say. Now days no one would blink an eye. I remember being at my grandma Minnie’s house and HBO had some movie on with Harry Hamlin questioning his straightness and he starts making out with a man and my Grandma jumps up and says “No not in front of the children!” It didn’t really startle me and no not because I have sugar in the tank but I would like to think I was an enlightened young lad. I wish they would have expanded a little more on the story, was Diane being neglected, did her husband still hump her? Did they fire Todd Taylor?

There are a lot of similarities to North Dallas Forty in this episode. The pool party, the new younger QB who is super religious (“Why do I smell like strawberries? Is one of the greatest movie lines, maybe not top ten but top 50) and the aging superstar. Which in this pilot it looked like the new QB star was played by Kent from Real Genius. They seemed to make the Bob Dorsey character a mesh between Nolte and Mac Davis and you sir are no Mac Davis. By the way Mac Davis should have been Burt Reynolds huge in my mind.

This show has that weird 80s thing where it is a comedy but suddenly the music is somber and there is a serious moment. Now it is not as bad as say Family Ties with Alex Keaton and the diet pills but it seems a little out of place when Dian is talking to Roger about how afraid he really is of the Arcolas. The plan is to plant coke and give it to the Bulls and tell them it was from Diane disgracing her and making her sell the Bulls back to her oily filter cigarette smoking butt pirate of a husband (not that there is anything wrong with that matey). So they get a greasy guy that looks like a cross between Taylor Negron and that Gremlins spin off Critter coming out of the toilet to plant coke. But Ernie the disgraced coach that Diane fired comes to the party, keep in mind the wild party with the typical generic keyboard music and no boob showing, and finds the coke saving Diane and his job. All is well with the world and Diane and Ernie are going to take the Bulls to a 500 season ha ha. I am not sure how Ernie getting a tip negates how the whole show they were building up how shitty a job he was doing falling asleep and not knowing players. But hey what did I expect from a pilot.

Laugh out louds for episode: 0

Cringe Worthy moments for episode: lower scale 2-4

Laugh Track: not on for first half of episode, then appears

Observations:
1. All the white guys on the team are good ole country boys, the only difference is slim country white boy or fat lineman country hick deluxe

2. The star wide receiver Witherspoon is in negotiation for 1 million a year and his agent is very Johnny Cochron. Maybe a young Johnny Cockroach was a fan of this show and after a long night of disco dancing took of his platforms and saw this show and thought hey I should base my whole legal persona on this guy.

3. One of the country boys who I think is a tight end named Mason runs a route to impress Diane and after he runs off she is told how he is a flasher and likes to expose himself. It got me thinking how you almost never hear about that crime anymore. I mean I know it happens but when have you ever heard of a pro athlete doing that, and no I don’t think Big Ben counts. Very original to have that be his celebrity weirdness. Wouldn’t it be funny if instead of pro football players welding guns and punching strippers they had a problem where they mooned people and played the unsuspecting game of is that gum on my pants?

Quotable Bulls:
Diane: “How are your knees?”
Bob Dorsey: “Not as pretty as yours”

Wesley Mania this past weekend...

The following is from my journal dealy i keep, it was done late at night and tends to ramble and all about Davey Richards and my thoughts on him. Bottom line the Evolve show was pretty friggin dope. Not sure how i am writing about all my troubles and turmoil leads to a Davey Wesley Mr. Belvedere kid rant but hey i just steer this husky German kid's brain.

I should think of some positive things, uhhh the Evolve is good. I started watching a bit of the main event with Davey Richards. I wonder if he is still married to Miss Natural or what the hell her name is from Missouri. He just seems so much like a little jerk, who knows maybe he is a good guy with a good sense of humor but he seems a little too Benoit for me. I mean before Benoit did his thing I dug his matches but from what I could see and hear they guy had no personality besides wrestling. Just bland, which when you think about it is so odd. You have a wife and kids and really wrestling was more powerful than them. I am not sure if I have anything in my life that would over rule loved ones or even friends. It is odd thinking of how fake fighting and drama can consume everything, but I guess any hobby could get their claws in the right or wrong minded fella. Somewhere there is a guy obsessing over shuffle board to the point where he ignores everything else. But I wonder if Davey knows about Natural’s past which I guess is somewhat shady. But maybe he just really dug her and thought hell the past is the past and on my first NOAH tour I went to that bath house and got a tug.

So I have a feeling I may nod off a tad tonight and then do the wake up and be up until two or so. The show had a fresh new feel and lo and behold Gabe did it again with Evolve. I actually found myself giving a shit about the roster. The Evolve show has been great as I started to say, it reminds me of one of my favorite days with Tiesel. I want to say it was a Monday holiday but I am not sure. He was working at the Krispy Kreme in a grocery store and had a box of about a million of them. I brought over some wrestling, more in particular the first ROH show. We watched it as a PPV and dug it. I remember a lot of cracks of Bryan Danielson’s tights how they were all white and he looked like the bigger asshole brother in most 80’s movies who does a lot of curls and swings numb nut chucks and drinks a lot of protein shakes.. Granted some of the shoot interview in character segments were a tad cheesy but I have to say at least they are taking a somewhat new approach. It really makes me miss booking and who knows maybe I can still get my foot in the door somewhere or help with the Metro company that is starting. I need to order last year’s Super 8 which I finally got a lead on. I want to watch and review and try and find some good indy stuff.

So to continue on the Davey Wesley Richards issues in a free form way I did watch the main event with him last night and it was ok. Not a blow away and I thought there were several matches that were better. Not everything has to be a long strong style macho dick docking fest. Early going ons included Davey having psycho eyes and yelling come on and harder, wait come on me harder? I do have to say he was more animated then I remember. I often thought of him as a bland create a wrestler with no emotions on his face. I did semi watch his match with Drake Younger in the Peterson Cup and remarked to Tim on the phone (what don’t we all watch TV and discuss with our friends who live far away?) how Richards was doing the sell of checking his teeth with the ref after he got hit by a strike.

I am big enough or husky enough to admit that if someone else would have done that I would have thought it was great selling, IE Dick Murdoch often did a similar act getting miles out of a simple jab. But for some reason I thought I bet this is schtick he does often, well sure enough he did it in the main for Evolve. But he did have a busted lip and there was a little bit of blood so that gave it some weight. It is weird how my brain works because I started thinking about Dynamite and how I guess he often would saw his head off for good color and I thought to the more recent pics of him in his book and how gigged up his forehead looked and I got to thinking does Davey do that? I guess he almost has to if he is falling in the line of the Benoits and such where wrestling is everything to them and that is just part of the job.

I am going to rewatch the match with Drake Younger who I do enjoy for the most part. In the hot days of Facebook I remember him posting about breaking up with a girl who he cared about because he just wanted to wrestle and I imagine the death match look bothered her. Who knows what kind of a cat Drake is, but in that short nano burst in the internet I thought of him as a pretty classy guy. A guy who probably works a day job and is slowly gaining weight and knows Vinny will not come a knocking but still continues to do what he enjoys. I guess he is coming to Evolve which should be interesting, I am sure it has happened but Drake vs. Arik Cannon or Brad Allen could be good.

Ibushi took a beating for sure and did some great stuff. In an odd coincident I happened to randomly watch a DDT show I had on VHS and he was in a match against Ryuji Ito. Ito for some reason I really hate, well not for some reason I can list three off the top of my head:

1. Mortal Combat theme he comes out to. Come on what are we in middle school?
2. The slow motion involved in his kicks. His spin kicks look just slow and awkward and make me think of a guy in black dress socks throwing kicks at his younger cousins trying not to slip and fall on Grandma’s hard wood floor.
3. Those damn jean shorts with the 7th grade art club sharpie doodles of dragons, come on maybe if it was an acid washed jean jacked but they are shorts, buy some gear you look silly.

Ibushi did look pretty good in that match, a little green and I understand the idea of a pecking order and paying your dues I hated to see him do it to Ito. He looked a little more bulked up in this match and I started thinking about his pay for this show. You come to the US and do a really physical match you should get some scratch but I have to wonder with this being a new promotion and all.

One thing I find odd about Davey and the fandom thing is he was trained by Tony Kozina who I enjoy a lot more. He has a more unique look, kind of like a cross between Deniro and Carmichael from Laverne and Shirley but keep in mind he is a mini. One of my complaints about wrestling is most shows especially indies do the head lock drop down spots to start a match. Tim and I watched this old from the 50s black and white match and fuck if those headlocks didn’t look painful. Well Kozina is one of the only guys I have seem slap on a headlock and think fuck that looks all kinds of nasty. Kozina did a show for CSW and it was before I worked for them. But I romanticized the story, he was moving across country and was picking up shows on the way. Imagine that life, out on the road wrestling, meeting new guys eating late at Applebee’s or Old C’s. Believe me the after dinners are some of my fondest memories of my short time in the biz. Oh Eddie Money your song is so true I wanna go back and do it all over again (yeah I hate me now too but you mix about 5 Kamikaze shots from a bottle with Sprite into a tumbler after taking care of 2 sick people and you tell me you don’t get a little memory happy).

Kozina just does not get the love, I think ROH might use him a little here and there but the guy is good. Really early on we had an offer to use Davey and he was billed to us as Kozina’s guy and we said sure, not sure but it didn’t pan out. Years later after I had moved to this poop state they were set to use him but he no showed saying he heard the guy he was wrestling was reckless and hurt somebody. No I am not naming names but that is and was not true. I think he maybe just wanted to stay home and give Ms. Natural the ole’ DH driver. Which I imagine being close to home it would be easy to call in sick and stay home and watch TV with your gal.

But I felt good about actually buying the disc from Evolve and it was money well spent and I can say I will get the second show as well. Davey is gone and I feel like Gaber was getting a little dig in on him by calling him Wesley, and that name always makes me think of the ugly little boy in Mr. Belvedere. Gaber was hurt by Wesley not finishing the dates and responded by leg slap kicking Bob Eucker. So I will order the second show even if I am in a weekly hotel or sleeping in the car and showering at work because sometimes a guy needs a little screen to watch little guys in little pants wrestler in a little building in New Jersey.

Weekends and Wednesdays

I am not sure if it was Geoff Johns that said no matter how bad his week was going he always looked forward to Wednesdays. Lately it seems like I have been testing this theory to the hilt. A few summers ago I was having a rough go (which these days seems kind of like a cake walk, red velvet cake if you please) and thought well at least I have my new titles to pick up. Comics for some reason can center me and I can actually focus on the content. Television is trickier, I just flip thru and my mind wonders. So lately I have been enjoying that small relief that I get for oh say an hour or so. I was thinking about how there must be a million and a half comic blogs and reviews so why not one more! No I just wanted to write as I am home from work and had to do something to combat the stir crazies of taking care of a sick kid on a sunny day. Don’t get me wrong there is a chance left to my own devices I would be inside reading and such but this way I can feel like I am making the best of being stuck inside, yeah I would probably just read outside.


I seem to have this weird pattern of behavior pertaining to comics. I have my weekly pull list and once a week I look up the week’s list on Deathvalleydriver.com and copy it into a word program at work. I then while on hold or on break I high light what I am getting and my maybes. In my old age I often forget to print my list but more times than not I pick up my titles and end up back in the store on the weekend to pick up one or two things. Usually this second trip either involves a recommendation from my buddy Tim (who I partially blame for my Green Lantern fandom), a good review or sigh… the column the Buy Pile. The guy who writes that is a bit of a snot but I have to admit he has pointed me in the right direction on a few titles such as Dingo and a few one offs or one and dones. So usually after reading some reviews I end up making some excuse to run an “errand”. Comics are not very popular in our house and I am glad I have a storage space to store the long boxes that are native to my move here, it is hard to answer and skirt the question of “Did you read comics in Kansas?” Well uh yeah but I wasn’t obsessed with Blackest Night then.

So this week I ended up making not one but two trips for uh errands. I have my weekly pull at the delightful Lee’s Comics in San Mateo, where two really great guys work MP and Ryan. It also helps they are both football fans, one for the Saints and one for the Redskins, sorry MP about your team ending up with Larry Johnson. But they are good with the recommendations and are also not too into the realm where they cannot talk about anything else. This week I got my lighter than usual list and almost used up my $100 gift certificate. I am not sure if I am proud or ashamed that it lasted about 3 weeks for my pull list plus one new box and in the midst of talking I forgot to pick up the Siege and they were all out of Booster Gold #30. So MP got them transferred for me and put a Siege in the folder.

Saturday after a waaay too early wake up and a ton of house cleaning and a trip to Home Depot I made my escape to buy groceries and pick up the 2 issues I missed. It was a rough busy day and picking up these two issues and a steak rice bowl with extra rice from Chipotle were about the only good things in a long night.

Siege #3: I groaned and complained to Tim when I saw the check list for the Siege. I read the Secret Invasion and a few of the spin offs and really only one issue of Secret Invasion was great, the rest were very blah. I do have to say I have been enjoying all the Norman Osborne drama and really love the Dark Avengers title, although I heard it will not be around much longer. I really like the Sentry character as he is one of my favorites in the Marvel universe, one of the others being Bob from Agents of Atlas (I guess I enjoy your more troubled heroes). So a few times Tim and I talked about the Siege stuff and we both decided to take a pass. Late one evening I called him and had to say damn it I think I am going to have to get the Siege due to the preview in the back of a Marvel title. I refused to get the million other titles but I thought I could do a 4 book series, and I do not feel too lost in the going ons. So issue 3 is pretty good, it may sound funny but it is a bit of a slowed down issue. It sounds crazy to say that while there is so much action in this issue, Norman gets hit with Cap’s shield, Thor and the Sentry fighting, but I tell you I was absolutely floored and shocked with the Ares ending in #2. I was surprised it was not discussed at all in this issue but I am sure it will be or maybe it is in one of the cross overs. I enjoyed how many story lines are going on. It was cool to see Fury materialize and I enjoyed how the president is hedging his bets on the outcome of the battle. I am looking forward to seeing how they wrap this one up but I am also dreading that Marvel will probably just spin it into another series and truth be told I do not make that much money and well Brightest Day is on the horizon.
Favorite Part: Page 22 Norman showing his Goblin face and several panels of “Toldja.”

Booster Gold #30: This has been a nice little story arch and I am a big fan of Cyborg Superman. I loved the one off origin in the Sinestro Corps. Wars and feel he is one of those characters you really feel bad for and understand why he is pissed off to some degree. Booster Gold has become a big favorite of mine (damn you again Tim) and I often find his stories filled with a lot of heart and they are often bittersweet. The dilemmas he faces are great not wanting to alter history but not wanting to have horrible things happen. There is some pretty gripping stuff in issue 30 and the Sonora and Gracey interactions with both Booster and Skeets are great. The only problem I have and sorry not to sound Comic Book Store Guy nit picky but towards the end after Michelle and Booster leave and Drew is left behind to perish Michelle seems fairly calm about it. Maybe she is not melting down because she thinks they can go back in the time stream and fix it so he does not die but I would think your immediate reaction would be to as they say scientifically to lose your shit. The end had a nice twist that I read several times, damn the time travelling and all can get complicated. Not sure if everyone would dig this but I am glad to be on board.
Favorite Part: Page 7 When Sonora Crain is holding Gracey Greene and Skeets scans their names in the records of the dead from the Cost City disaster and Sonora says “My god how sick can you be?” She is angry and just appalled but then he helps save them.

So on Sunday I woke up early with even less sleep than the night before. I was up a good bit of the night playing nurse maid and felt like an old time man sitting in a chair beside the bed to keep an eye on any odd breathing or requests for water. The house was being shown from 2 to 4 so I had my window of opportunity to make a trip down south to another comic shop. I never remember the name of it but I want to say it is called R and K or something and it is in Sunnyvale. I am not sure when I came across it in the phone book but I spent a long long Sunday trying to find it. I even had my trusty co hort Tim on the phone in KC giving me directions and Google earthing the location, “Ok it is buy a car lot and a Burger King.”

This is a pretty good shop as they have a lot of good cheap back issues and they are super close to an In and Out Burger. I love having a day of fat man decadence when I scour through back issues and then have a gut bomb. I even planned my last birthday around one of these stops, however that Saturday I had a super shit morning and when I got there one of the clerks was so damn annoying. He just kept talking and talking and had this high pitched voice and kept talking about how he worked in the iron industry and blah blah. Now keep in mind he did not say one word to me but it was enough to drop a giant stink bomb on the usually pleasant event.

It made me realize how much I loved Lee’s and would only go to this place when it was really really warranted. Well I had a reason to go, Lee’s did not get Anchor #6 and they were out of Scalped #35 which I had read rave reviews about. So I figured I would hope bad tattoo iron man weasel would have the day off to organize his Molly Hatchet records and made the journey. I was pleased that the Giants cactus league was on and actually enjoyed the drive over. Sadly they did not have the latest Anchor (had to go on Ebay damn) but I picked up a few things. Iron Weasel was not there and I actually heard what I think is the owner complain about the mess he left. By the way the owner has a giant grey pompadour and big glasses, he is straight out of a Crumb comic. The guy who rang me up was super nice and said good choices on the 3 issues I picked up. He even recommended another shop that may have the Anchor. So I picked up a few things and picked up some Arby’s on the way to a short work session, by the way if I was more tech savy or had a better phone camera I would have taken a pic of the Arby’s bag that said never greasy that had… you guessed it a big grease stain on it.

Spirit #1:back issue for 3 bucks: They had quiet a few issues of the 2007 Spirit. I was hoping for more dollar issues but oh well. I have weird feelings towards the Spirit. I saw the movie and thought it was ok (gotta love Red Box) although I did like that Samuel Jackson kept talking about eggs. I always thought of it as pretty old timey and was not that into it. However, First Wave has really piqued my interest and I really enjoyed the first issue of that so I figured I would check out some Spirit, the more recent mind you. I do really like the look of the character and I have added the re launch of this series to my pull list. This issue was pretty decent, probably the lesser of the five weekend pick ups but it was not bad. You gotta love the heavy duty cover that is on a thicker stock. I was not too fond of the art work but it was not to the degree where I would not buy it because of that. I try not to be too snobby but really certain styles will make me just not want to buy a book. The art in this looks more like a Johnny Test style cartoon which kind of makes it look slap sticky and takes away from what could be a really great gross piece of work of a villain like the Pill. I do have to say I was shocked at some of the language used as well, I guess this is not the old Spirit. This was a nice one and done and it sets up a lot of characters and I imagine I may look into picking up some more.
Favorite Part: Page 7 where the Spirit digs out of the back seat of the Pill’s limo.

Justice Society of America #36: I have recently picked up some cheap used trades of Geoff John’s work on the JSA and loved it. I haven’t added this to my pull list as of yet because to be honest there are just way to many damn titles to pick up. I remembered thumbing through this at Lee’s and thinking I could pick up right in this arc and hey Nazis, I love heroes fighting Nazis. I made a Saturday second run and they were fresh out. I always kick myself when I do that as I know I will be making a longer drive or hitting up Ebay. The cover of this issue is just fantastic, you can see the age lines in Jay and Alan and the bloody flag is just incredible. The start of the story with the interview process and retelling is great, it leaves some mystery and I was wondering what the hell happened? I am sure it will all unfold and we will know why Mr. Terrific is being held and possibly about to be executed. I forgot how much I liked the odd little twist with Liberty Bell where she says an equation to get her speed and loved even more the crafty nasty use of rubber bouncing balls used to stop her. Damn I always knew those things were dangerous. When the Nazis swoop in I kind of rolled my eyes, some of the names seemed a little forced and obvious but once they get rolling they are kind of scary and I think the Shadow of War character was genius. The scene with Flash losing his mind and going off was just tremendous. I have to say I was tired and worn out and dreading a 5:15 AM alarm but this issue just made me go out on a high note for the day. I really enjoyed this and am glad I did not let this one slip through the cracks.
Favorite Part: Page 12 Where Alan finds the crate and Jay is in tears. The narration explains why it did what it did and I had to think wow what a clever way and evil way to do that (sorry trying to be somewhat vague so not to be a spoiler, yeah probably Tim is only reading this).

Scalped #35: I hate to admit but I heard about this one and done story in the Buy Pile column. Glad it exists but I hate to see the butt kicking he gives almost everything Green Lantern related. That guy I think his name is Hannibal described this issue as life affirming and damn if he was not right. I have only read a sample issue of Scalped and it is on my ever increasing things I need to check out list. First off the cover is fantastic and after reading the story it is both fitting and haunting. I am not a big fan of how most stories these days end up in happily ever after but I was really pulling and hoping for it with this story. I didn’t really dig the art that much, it had that odd jagged line look but the story is what really carries this issue. It tells the tale of Mance and Hazel and how they are struggling with life. It was interesting for me to read this on this day as we had our first open house and there was just this sense of sadness around here about selling the house and how tough the economy is. But you read something powerful like this and it puts things into perspective and hell I know it is just a comic and many people look down on them but this had some great storytelling in it. So many issues are dealt with in this book, true love, guilt, environment, social issues. I don’t want to give away too much but I would say this is one of the best things I have read recently.
Favorite Part: So much to choose from, I guess page 11 when Mance is driving home and he turns his guilty thoughts into appreciative thoughts.

So I would say a pretty good weekend pick up, it was kind of nice to actually spend a day writing and re examining the comics I bought. To tell you the truth I got more enjoyment out of them by doing this, so stick that negative comic book dudes. If I had to rank them it would be:
1. Scalped #35
2. JSA #36
3. Siege #3
4. Booster Gold #20
5. Spirit #1

Gut Loaded and properly procrastinated

7-24-9

So I am sitting here in Citrine and feeling bad about myself, I keep thinking about how I read this funny list on a site where they talked about what white people like and on the list was expensive sandwiches. I just wanted some cheap fuel before i headed over to the gym but the Quizno's's is gone and in its place some fucking wine tasting shit bar. Fuck you could get Diet Mt. Dew there too. So I am eating a little pizza and feel very sterile and white but the pizza is not too bad. However, they just played the Pet Shop Boys so now I have to listen to straight metal as i try and burn some calorie abuse off.

It is sad i have been meaning to write and post for a few weeks but never finished. Then a thought occurred to me. Who reads this shit? Maybe one person by accident and why do i think i am so god damn entertaining that i need to share everything? All of these new gadgets to keep you in touch are lame. We need to update the world and everyone about how interesting and unique we are. It reminds me of a musician friend of mine who thought he shit gold (hold on now we are talking they are playing The Boss "Dancing in the Dark" hell yeah, this song has depths that no one ever talks about. All anyone talks about is that Courtney Cock is in it and hell i have the video of Boss videos and she is off the chart cutes but this song is amazing. Listen to it sometime when you are driving after one of those long discussions with your other when your whole being is brought into question and then the Boss light will go off for you) and all his songs were great and worth recording and sharing. Guess what? Some were fantastic some were not. Some days as people we are insightful, profound and maybe humorous, but mostly we are inconsiderate, self absorbed and horny. So anyhow, here are a couple of things I jotted down, journal entries and blog starts. I have a new puter now and love it at times and other times want to hit grounder practice with it.

Gut Loaded for July 7th: First I guess I should explain what the term gut loaded means, but first let me just say that when I heard the term my eyes bugged and I chicken scratched as soon as I got to my car in my little notebook. It was comparable to when I was heart broken over a girl and found out that her name was the title of the saddest sounding song in TV, the theme to Taxi. Many nights I would be dozing off listening to the show and my parent’s laughter and then the credits would roll and that song would come in. But I bugged out when I found out the title and I bugged out (no future pun intended) when I heard the term gut loaded. I was buying crickets for the wee one’s gecko and the lady said they should be good as they were gut loaded which means they just ate and would provide lots of nutrients for Gecky (I have no idea why kids are so shitty at naming pets, the gecko is named Gecky, the fish is named Fishy or Swimmy, but hey I nursed him back to health so he is named Saint Walker). I for sure had a gut loaded day for sure, I feel fat, bloated and my self hate is boiling over. I made chit chat and smiled in the pet store and inside I was yelling at myself to shut the fuck up. Stop trying to be everyone’s friend, stop trying to win an election that no one cares about, just pay and hit the streets and be an inconsiderate asshole and just shut the fuck up.

Part of my mood today was having flash backs to earlier in life, people teasing and just piling on me. Now don’t get me wrong I can take a good teasing and ribbing but I prefer it to be at least funny, rhyming my name with fairie might have passed in grades 1-3 but at 35 it is hard not to just unleash on someone and tell them how fucking unoriginal they are. In a sense it is akin to school where in a sense you are being tested, if you take your heckling maybe give a bit back and not blow your stack you are fine and things continue. I guess in a sense it is hazing and a test indeed.

So I am writing this a day later, actually two days later. Things have been fine at work. I mean do not get me wrong I dig my job and I cannot put into words how wonderful it is to be in a good mood on the drive to work. Hell it is a testament to the place that I was smiling and profiling on the freeway at 6:30 to get in early to bust out some work involving the East coast. I graduated my hazing in a sense and thinking about it I look at it as a junior varsity jail system. I was glad I kept my cool and rolled with the punches and I couldn't help to smirk just a tad when one of the wise asses had his apartment broken into the next day.

Wednesday for some time has been one of my favorite days of the week, it is geek update heaven to me. Not only does the new programming for WWE 24-7 start but also the new comics come out. I blaze out of work at 4:30 and enjoy some 680 Sports radio and look forward to chatting with Andrew and I think his name is Brian. They are both guys that I would like to hang out with but I still have not figured out how to approach the topic and not seem like I am asking them out. On top of that the media has latched onto all this Bromance and man crush shit so two guys who like some of the same shit can’t go have a beer and become buddies. It is hard to make friends in most places but out here where people are so full of shit and inconsiderate it is near impossible.

Here is a back to basics pome i did, I joking wrote it about my family which is under fire often with someone in my life. I love those crazy farming background fuckers, imagine the following slowed down over weird beats:

Good deals are like sore dicks you just can’t beat them
Momma has a potty mouth
Says shit when she ping pongs
Said home team slept on defense to beat their meat
Report came in one Granny was a dirty leg
Who served her country for several tours of duties
But Gramps the Marine didn’t know or didn’t care
He might have had too many blanket parties thrown by his peers
Mom and Dad declared that they waited
But knowing what I know at least with 12 ladies
The conduct edges are blurry around some orifices.

7-17-09 I believe, I am still getting used to typing on a lap top. I type and call, call and type all day and I am not burned out on it. It is a great feeling to look forward to what a work day brings you. It is even greater as I am starting to feel that closeness and family bond with a few of my co workers. I like that they refer to several of my co workers as my sisters. I still can’t stand Joel the jackass and maybe because he is the man I want to be. When he told me about his weekend and rock climbing I just wanted to tell him to blow it out his ass.

7-18-9

Jesus Christ this new word sucks, I am trying again to write at 10:01 what I enjoy about life:
That swimmy heady feeling of the beginning of a drunk spell. It reminds me of slowly easing yourself into a hot tub for a soak. That beautiful feeling is the death of brain cells in this case. People say if you drink alone you have a problem, I think if you need to be in public showing off while paying inflated prices you have a problem. I prefer to write, draw, laugh or even walk around. All of these things are free, at least in the dollar and cents sense. When I was unemployed I once walked to the grocery store and bought a pencil container and a Sharpie and drank an energy beer on the walk home because it looked like an energy drink. I had a nice heady buzz when I got home.
I love the knuckleball and want to learn to perfect it. I want to be 36 and a knuckleball pitcher, I would only play for the Royals or the Giants, ok maybe the Reds or Pirates or where Kahlil ends up because I think we would be buddies. After road games we would talk about how we worry about doing well in games and life in general at an IHOP or Denny’s late into the morning. I am not sure why I want to learn pitching or even why I am enjoying baseball so much these days. I just know I am, hell the Pirates beat the Giants tonight in the 14th inning and I wasn’t upset, sure we could use the game as the Dodgers were losing last I heard, but hey that many pitchers and I have a soft spot in my heart for the Pirates. Kellogs 3D baseball cards are my favorite cards ever I think.
Blackest Night- not only am I enjoying the story and all of the new lanterns but at the core of it Tim and I have once again bonded over a common interest. Last week’s Green Lantern was one of the best single issues I have ever read of something and then this week’s Blackest Night comes along and is just as good. Dead super heroes and new colors and characters man it is good stuff. Tomorrow I am heading to Lee’s for the big sale and may pick up a lantern shirt. I am really wanting to read the Mesmo Delivery stuff but I think it is all out of print. I wonder if tomorrow it will be super crowded? I plan on spending some time on the computer at the library and I need to get on the stick about my tasks but that is negative and we are not focusing on that.

Another Friday Love and Hate

It is still the 28th for about an hour or so but it is Friday somewhere so a Love and Hate is OK.

Love:
Walking: I am writing this pissed I guess but I do feel a little better after going for a walk and walking the balance beam. Here Walking is what has kept me somewhat sane these past months and hell even before. I have had the pull up your hood and cry walk, the inspired idea generator walk and even the eccentric pickup sticks walk that is either Zen or a smidge of OCD. I have been thinking about keeping this my dirty secret and not because I am doing anything wrong but I do not want to portray myself as someone deep or philosophical. Lately when I go for the walk I will gather sticks as I go. Not just any old stick, I have some weird criteria that I am unsure of but I just know what I want when I see the stick. I have even looked at it walked a few steps and turned around and collected it I imagine I look pretty nuts, a husky fellow in a Cincinnati hat with a handful of stick in this manicured self centered neighborhood. It’s odd as there is some natural beauty here with the marshes but most of the great water ways say no fishing or swimming or private property, what a waste. I guess we just talk about the new Prius and sip wine and look at the water from our over priced town homes rather than jumping ogg the dock trying to catch a football.

So when I get home if I am alone I start or I wait until it is late and I am the only one up I get some pliers to snip with and I arrange the sticks in various patterns and ladders and cabins. I started doing it during commercials but soon was tuned out from the TV all together. Maybe I am just a bigger junior varsity version of a kid, still playing with sticks 30 years later. It totally relaxes me and I am tempted at times to glue pieces into place but fight the urge. And I would probably have to kick my own ass if I tried to make it into sculpture like the shit mobile I saw at the Golden Gate Museum. I worry that someone will wake up and find me sitting on the floor in the living room with my primitive Lincoln Logs. Soon I will be back to the real working world and there will be no more three mile morning walks with sticks, hissing geese and the occasional good idea (maybe I should drop this last part to hate).

Khalil Greene and baseball in general: OK I am a sucker for interesting backgrounds or stories. Kurt Warner is one of those stories, working at a grocery store one year and after that a Super Bowl ring. Warner I can see believing in God. I am sure he wished a better job and more scratch for his family and my God did God pay out. I imagine if there is a God in the bible sense he rewards those guys who never bitch about overtime and reward them like a Ned Flanders. Anyhow, I was watching the Brewers and Cardinals game earlier and was really enjoying it.

I scratched a note down earlier in the season with the name Rasmus to research him after I saw he was on a hitting streak and hit a huge homer a few weeks ago. So Greene comes up and I think Owen Wilson but I guess his fans refer to him as Spoccoli. The announcers were talking about his anxiety and how hard he is on himself. He looked troubled and me of being of the need of transfusion heart really got behind him and wanted him to do well. He committed an error and looked heartbroken but shortly after redeemed himself by almost an exact replay of the grounder hit. So I did a search and read about his trade and how he is a Bahai. Now another admission but when I was around 17 or 18 I researched religion. I wanted to find something to have faith in and believe in. But I am a picky guy, I kind of took an all or nothing approach.

My parents had some friends who were Bahai’ and they said it was about the only religion they could get into. I looked into it and liked some of it but got spooked by some of the people or hell maybe just with the idea of attaching myself to a group in a public setting. Well Kaleel is Bahai and his name translated means friend. I have a tendency when I get into something to research a lot and I think doing that takes away some of that new interest magic. I am going to follow Greene but not to the point where I want to watch his interviews and know every stat. It is a tough call for me because the Cardinals are coming to town this weekend and yes I want the Giants to win in a perfect world Greene would have a good game as well. *Note: While i was driving around this afternoon hunting down Pepsi Throwback and Green Lantern comics for Tim the Cards put Greene on the 15 day disabled list due to anxiety, hope he feels better.***

So it is odd that I have the baseball bug again. I am going to go into it more in my next zine. But I am watching a lot of games and have really gotten into the Giants. The Royals will always be home team but damn if these Giants are not a fun club. They just need some frickin’ bats. The trade is coming up and there are rumor about Matt Cain being part of the trade. I like Cain OK, but he is pretty erratic and at times will walk people in the first inning. I hate to say it but maybe trade Sanchez who is super erratic. I mean he is tough as hell as he took that line drive to the melon but he varies so much from inning to inning. Of course I would like to see the Giants come up with Greene or Rasmus but don’t see that happening. I am speaking from a fantasy league beginner fan with an idea or a hope. Manny is suspended and his replacement Juan Pierre is just killing the ball and does not suck as much in the outfield. In 50 games Manny is back and what do you do with Juan? How about bring him to the Giants and build the offense around him and have a Fuck Manny hat give away at the stadium. There are some fun teams out there and all I am asking for my babies (KC, Giants) is a .500 season.

Chipotle Steak Bowl with extra rice: at least once a week I head over to Industrial Road for this treat. God I am such a pig. Chipotle has the most amazing lime and cilantro rice and I used to always skip the steak and opted with chicken. I feel like I wasted some calories and chins and will now make up for them. Part of what I like about this treat is I usually go to the same location. The manager is a cool guy and he has a great crew of people. There is a big lug of a guy who usually says something nice like “hey it’s good to see you again.” He came over to my table and gave me a free coupon and we chatted and in a way it bummed me out because that was the nicest thing that happened to me that day. It is amazing to see people so nice when you know it has to be annoying with everyone having their own little quirks and amounts when it comes to salsas and cheeses. I have toyed with the idea of applying there but I am not sure if I want to ruin the magic by joining the cast.

Creating Dice Games and my Chipz: On a whim at Target I picked up a package of WWE Chipz which are poker chips with a photo on one side and an autograph on the other. They had chip values so I thought oh these are game pieces. I was surprised reading the insert with the lameness of the games they came up with. Most of them involved throwing the chips or flipping them which really just scratches them to hell so you have to buy more. I put them away and didn’t think much about them but picked up two more sets. The chips are unique and pretty cool. In a way I feel like Michael Keaton’s character in Night Shift, the idea man, feed mayo to tuna fish etc. I had been itching and dying to play Farkle and started to by myself (almost nothing sadder than a jobless chunk butt rolling dice and drinking Coke Zero at 2AM) and decided I could make a game with the Chipz. I have a singles match, a barbwire one (you lose points rolling into the wire) and am working out the kinks for the tag and rumble. It has been fun and I have a lot of pages of notes and notes and I am hoping to type them all out and make a manual. The wee man likes the game and it inspired him to help create a racing game which we made a track for and it is pretty fun. I am trying to figure out a simple baseball game and am almost there. On tonight’s walk I came up with a dice/ card game concept called Hollywood Dipshit. I need to jot down some notes but HD is coming.

Oh and on the Chipz front, I am starting to collect more and more as you need a big roster to randomly draw your player. I winced but winced with joy when I won the all yellow 10 chip of Rey Mysterio from Australia for $11 bucks. I guess there is something sadder than late night Coke Zero dice rolling.

Hate:
Rollercoasters: No I do not mean the real ones. Although I used to get a little nervous on family trips as I was scared of them. No I am talking the rollercoaster of a day and some people’s moods. I am not naming names but if we could even just cut it to 3 drops like the Fire in the Hole ride at Silver Dollar City that would be great. And if someone could actually holler out “Fire in the Hole!” I could scramble and get my shoes and back pack together and scoot.

End of my early retirement: Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled to be rejoining society but I will miss the Sopranos at 9, Married with Children, staying up super late, drawing comics and writing until the wee hours of the morning, wearing baseball caps and shorts and having lunch with Amer. When I am working fries at McDonald’s in my 60s I will look back at these times fondly. Oh hell who am I kidding they won’t trust me on the fries and I will over think it and make to much out of the process. OK who am I kidding me in my 60s?

Not being able to see a Giants game during my time off. I had a day game set and that fell through. I may go this weekend but I liked the idea of sitting in the sun watching a game. Oh well at least I got to see a lot of movies in the morning. But this is supposed to be the hate section. Well I have a lot of hate but want to be more positive. Let’s just say I hate my weight and the fact that ice cream is calling me so late at night.

A Late Report of the SJ Comic Con

Note: I swear i am not just waking up from the food coma hibernation of In and Out Burger. I have not had a lot of time to play on the Internet. My summer vacation/reverse retirement is over. I am starting a new job June 1st and am really looking forward to it. Sure i will miss all of the writing i was doing, the long morning walks but I am a worker and hell they took Still Standing and the Sopranos off the morning schedule so maybe it is for the best. I am hoping to keep rolling on my projects and am happy to have finished 1 zine and created several dice games and I have done some comics that i do not totally hate. I will make a post about my zine Heel to Face and hopefully will have my short attention span zine done and one sketch book. Who am i kidding who reads this? ******

I believe this was my third trip to the San Jose Comic Con. Comic cons are interesting places, not unlike being around wrestling fans (yes I have been to a wrestling convention as well and kicked myself for missing one last week). The giant convention in San Francisco is nice and I have been twice but it is sensory overload. It is very comparable to when I was young and a music fanatic I was living in a small town where you could hardly find any music, so when we went to a good record store such as Love Garden in Lawrence (my future favorite hometown of 9 years) you had to take a list so you would not go blank and try to recall what and who you liked. San Jose’s con is smaller but just the right size where you forget where the booth was that had the $1 comics.

I gave myself a per Diem of $40 to spend. I had it in cash, which is rare for me. It was the same money I had set aside for the Giants game Wed. that I was unable to attend. I feel guilty about spending money while looking for work but I also wanted to have some fun to keep the void (what I call my blues) from fully engulfing me. I had a rough end to my week with my job search log having to be sent in again (which means no check this week) and having my flat German ass chewed to sawdust in the kitchen Friday night. So after a short dog walk I hopped in my trusty Escort and boogied on down to San Jose. I had an extra helping of guilt that Habitat for Humanity was having a turn in meeting today and I was going to try to make it. I did one Tuesday night (which was fantastic and a great experience, another blog another time) so I had met my commitments but was going to try and hit the second one.

I decided to do one lap around figuring totals in my head and maybe even make a second pass just to make sure. I take my per Diem serious and often dream of being rich and not rich in the sense of tailored suits and houses on the hills but of being able to buy my dad both of the Wonder Warthog comics I found and telling the guy to also bag up the whole collection of Tijuana Bibles. Yep nerd status full achieved.

Lately the household issue of space has been discussed once again, as in I need to box up a lot of my book and comics and rent a storage space. It is bad enough a lot of my tapes are in the garage but now I have to drive a mile or two if I decide I want to watch an old Starrcade? So sadly no figure buying or if I do I need to make them small so hopefully someday I can put them on a work desk.

Eye of the Gods by Gerimi Burleigh, $5: What a nice guy, very friendly and warm. I think of how it must kind of suck to spend so much time on your personal project that you are passionate about and have to sell it to people. Granted it is not as bad as selling insurance and for the most part I bet the people are pretty cool, but still it makes me want to buy something from every table to show the appreciation of what they are doing. Gerimi explained the book back and told me he would give me a good deal, they book is a small glossy black and white and I am on chapter 3 and it is pretty damn good. I also like how the main character looks a lot like him. It is a very well thought out story so far with characters getting a form of Lasik due to the UV rays being so bad. After the surgery the main character starts having visions. The cover is what drew me over as it is a fantastic color cover. You can get it at: http://www.optichouse.com/

I picked up Eyes of Gods on my way out as that was my final run, I had ten bones left and thought I will pick up that nice fella’s book and that great Punisher art print for $5 and then to In and Out Burger! I saw so many fantastic artists this visit. I am working out comic ideas even with very little art talent and this trip was inspiring. The SF one was sort of disheartening somehow, there were so many people selling I remember thinking why bother there are way too many indy comics as is. I purchased the Punisher print and felt sort of guilty as I should have picked up something for my nephews or for Justin as a wedding gift. I did take a card so maybe I will appease my guilt by the power of the Internet. I love seeing different art work of popular characters. The Punisher was done by Justin C. Orr and you can go to his web site http://www.jusscope.com/. I am not sure what I will do with the print as I live with someone who is very serious and grown up, but it was just too cool to pass up.

ECW House Party 98 $10: I was going to pick up a comp DVD from I believe it was called Darkside, run by a movie fanatic. We talked a little about wrestling and how Bruiser Brody was his favorite and he talked about seeing Brody when he was known as King Kong Brody and how he and his group still cheered “Bruiser”. He had one comp that had a few things I did not have but between 24-7 and my collection I had most. I ended up picking up an ECW show for a good price, it had a nice cover color and all. I had most of the other shows but picked this one up due to the Justin Credible vs. Great Sasuke match. I believe they had 2 matches and I remember Credible coming out wearing the mask. I am still shocked Sasuke put him over due to reading about him being kind of a dick. The brawling at the beginning felt a little forced but it was not a bad match. This was yet another booth I could have dropped a ton of cash on various DVDs such as the full runs of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose and Get a Life with Chris Elliot. I did not pick up a card but the guy running it was cool and was shaking his head in amazement as a costumed Green Lantern went by with a hot girlfriend and we both just pondered the hows and whys.

One of the guys I was hoping to talk to was Mike Hampton who does some great comics. I went to an self publishing panel the year before and came away feeling very inspired. Sadly I have just now gotten around to attempting comics and a zine again but hey getting laid off does that to you. I took a small sketch he did of Iron Man and kept it in my folder (I am so 7 I have a folder I keep of news clippings, drawing, comics that cheer me up or that I find interesting). Sadly I had run out of money the year before but I was for sure picking up some of his books. I picked up the “How to Do Comics” and “Zodiac Killers.” The How to is great and super funny and it really has helped me with my attempt at comics. The Zodiac Killers is a great project where he takes each of the zodiac signs and illustrates the sign and tells a story of someone dying dealing with the sign. Some great and disturbing stories and a fun read. Mike was super cool and I hope I did not come across as a geek fan and I gave him a copy of my zine. He is working a new project about the weirdest people in the US such as the lady who fell in love with the Golden Gate Bridge, I offered up a few and hope I can find some information about the rancher in Jetmore.He does a comic called Capt. Asshole and I am planning on picking up some more soon. You can see some of his art and pick up a CD at www.916halo.com

Lots o’ Punisher: I go through phases. Currently I am in a Punisher one. I am not very original but I love the Ennis ones, especially the Widowmaker run. I found a lot of good deals but had decided I wanted to spend most of my hard stolen cash on indy comics. I picked up a Daredevil and Punisher trade and the Punisher Holiday trade for $2 a pop. I also found a stack of $1 Punisher 2099 and just got the first one to check it out. I recently picked up a one shot 2099 (I think that was the year) about a mother trying to teach her son to take over the Punisher job that was great so I decided to look into this.

It would have been easy to pick up a ton of trades and I got a few but one I was happy to get was the America’s Best Comics Presents Vol. 1. I like these collections and am a walking cliché as Alan Moore’s work got me back into comics. This collection has a great short Grey Shirt comic and the first Tom Strong (which I have had trouble getting into). I love the America’s Best Comics logo and have always said that when I finally go around the bin I am going to get that logo on my wrist sentencing myself to a lifetime of long sleeves.

I went to a booth that had a nice girl running it and it was called the HERO Initiative. They are a non profit that helps out artists who have no health insurance or residence. Now I am a bleeding heart deluxe, I am talking Abdullah the Butcher blood, so I was intrigued. Many artists do not own the rights to their own characters and have fallen on hard times. This just seems crazy to me but I can see it happening. HERO had some good deals on some books and the money went to the organization. The one I picked up was great and what I have read has been good and varied. Just as with my music tastes and my wrestling I love a good comp with lots of variety. You can donate or become a member at http://www.heroinitiative.com/

As I have been saying over and over ala broken record I could have easily dropped a ton of money at the con. I left with that good positive feeling and once again inspired to make yet another attempt at comics. I stopped at the madhouse of In and Out Burger and just enjoyed that weird glowing feeling and was chatty (flirty) with an attractive business lady who for some reason set down right next to me on the waiting bench. I hate how I look and my confidence has taken a shellacking but I can still bullshit pretty well. There was an older guy in great shape but shirtless and I remember making her laugh with a line about not enjoying eating my food while looking at old man tan nipples. I drove home listening to my new frustration the SF Giants and I think I passed out within 20 minutes of the final bite of burger.

Need nap getting sleepy... write more later

It is a rather warm Saturday and I am enjoying the air conditioning at the RWC Shores Library. I am not enjoying the noise all the kids make and the peering eyes of people. The crusty old man who lives in me wishes these kids would have more respect for the library. Well after a night of apparent narcolepsy I woke up to walk the dog and head to the San Jose Comic Con. It is a smaller convention and I like it more than the giant miles and miles of the San Francisco one. I will have a more detailed report of how it was and what i spent my $40 per diem I allowed myself. I am amazed at what I got with it. Write now I am slipping into a food coma due to the In and Out Burger I hit on the way home. Fantastic hamburgers and I decided to go for it and order the Animal Fries which are a secret menu item, fries with cheese, onions and thousand island dressing. So good and I am so fat so, so what. I even found myself flirting a little bit with the lady who sat a little too close while i was waiting for my food. I should go take a dip at the old apartment to make it officially a Best Day Ever (sung to the Spong Bob song of the same name). I needed a good day after not hearing from the place i interviewed at and finding out I had to refill my unemployment claim for this week. I have access to a puter so tonight I will write the long over due comic blog. Good night Irene even though it is the afternoon.