Friday, July 24, 2009

Gut Loaded and properly procrastinated

So I am sitting here in Citrine and feeling bad about myself, I keep thinking about how I read this funny list on a site where they talked about what white people like and on the list was expensive sandwiches. I just wanted some cheap fuel before i headed over to the gym but the Quizno's's is gone and in its place some fucking wine tasting shit bar. Fuck you could get Diet Mt. Dew there too. So I am eating a little pizza and feel very sterile and white but the pizza is not too bad. However, they just played the Pet Shop Boys so now I have to listen to straight metal as i try and burn some calorie abuse off.
It is sad i have been meaning to write and post for a few weeks but never finished. Then a thought occurred to me. Who reads this shit? Maybe one person by accident and why do i think i am so god damn entertaining that i need to share everything? All of these new gadgets to keep you in touch are lame. We need to update the world and everyone about how interesting and unique we are. It reminds me of a musician friend of mine who thought he shit gold (hold on now we are talking they are playing The Boss "Dancing in the Dark" hell yeah, this song has depths that no one ever talks about. All anyone talks about is that Courtney Cock is in it and hell i have the video of Boss videos and she is off the chart cutes but this song is amazing. Listen to it sometime when you are driving after one of those long discussions with your other when your whole being is brought into question and then the Boss light will go off for you) and all his songs were great and worth recording and sharing. Guess what? Some were fantastic some were not. Some days as people we are insightful, profound and maybe humorous, but mostly we are inconsiderate, self absorbed and horny. So anyhow, here are a couple of things I jotted down, journal entries and blog starts. I have a new puter now and love it at times and other times want to hit grounder practice with it.

Gut Loaded for July 7th: First I guess I should explain what the term gut loaded means, but first let me just say that when I heard the term my eyes bugged and I chicken scratched as soon as I got to my car in my little notebook. It was comparable to when I was heart broken over a girl and found out that her name was the title of the saddest sounding song in TV, the theme to Taxi. Many nights I would be dozing off listening to the show and my parent’s laughter and then the credits would roll and that song would come in. But I bugged out when I found out the title and I bugged out (no future pun intended) when I heard the term gut loaded. I was buying crickets for the wee one’s gecko and the lady said they should be good as they were gut loaded which means they just ate and would provide lots of nutrients for Gecky (I have no idea why kids are so shitty at naming pets, the gecko is named Gecky, the fish is named Fishy or Swimmy, but hey I nursed him back to health so he is named Saint Walker). I for sure had a gut loaded day for sure, I feel fat, bloated and my self hate is boiling over. I made chit chat and smiled in the pet store and inside I was yelling at myself to shut the fuck up. Stop trying to be everyone’s friend, stop trying to win an election that no one cares about, just pay and hit the streets and be an inconsiderate asshole and just shut the fuck up.

Part of my mood today was having flash backs to earlier in life, people teasing and just piling on me. Now don’t get me wrong I can take a good teasing and ribbing but I prefer it to be at least funny, rhyming my name with fairie might have passed in grades 1-3 but at 35 it is hard not to just unleash on someone and tell them how fucking unoriginal they are. In a sense it is akin to school where in a sense you are being tested, if you take your heckling maybe give a bit back and not blow your stack you are fine and things continue. I guess in a sense it is hazing and a test indeed.
So I am writing this a day later, actually two days later. Things have been fine at work. I mean do not get me wrong I dig my job and I cannot put into words how wonderful it is to be in a good mood on the drive to work. Hell it is a testament to the place that I was smiling and profiling on the freeway at 6:30 to get in early to bust out some work involving the East coast. I graduated my hazing in a sense and thinking about it I look at it as a junior varsity jail system. I was glad I kept my cool and rolled with the punches and I couldn't help to smirk just a tad when one of the wise asses had his apartment broken into the next day.

Wednesday for some time has been one of my favorite days of the week, it is geek update heaven to me. Not only does the new programming for WWE 24-7 start but also the new comics come out. I blaze out of work at 4:30 and enjoy some 680 Sports radio and look forward to chatting with Andrew and I think his name is Brian. They are both guys that I would like to hang out with but I still have not figured out how to approach the topic and not seem like I am asking them out. On top of that the media has latched onto all this Bromance and man crush shit so two guys who like some of the same shit can’t go have a beer and become buddies. It is hard to make friends in most places but out here where people are so full of shit and inconsiderate it is near impossible.

Here is a back to basics pome i did, I joking wrote it about my family which is under fire often with someone in my life. I love those crazy farming background fuckers, imagine the following slowed down over weird beats:

Good deals are like sore dicks you just can’t beat them
Momma has a potty mouth
Says shit when she ping pongs
Said home team slept on defense to beat their meat
Report came in one Granny was a dirty leg
Who served her country for several tours of duties
But Gramps the Marine didn’t know or didn’t care
He might have had too many blanket parties thrown by his peers
Mom and Dad declared that they waited
But knowing what I know at least with 12 ladies
The conduct edges are blurry around some orifices.

7-17-09 I believe, I am still getting used to typing on a lap top. I type and call, call and type all day and I am not burned out on it. It is a great feeling to look forward to what a work day brings you. It is even greater as I am starting to feel that closeness and family bond with a few of my co workers. I like that they refer to several of my co workers as my sisters. I still can’t stand Joel the jackass and maybe because he is the man I want to be. When he told me about his weekend and rock climbing I just wanted to tell him to blow it out his ass.

Jesus Christ this new word sucks, I am trying again to write at 10:01 what I enjoy about life:
That swimmy heady feeling of the beginning of a drunk spell. It reminds me of slowly easing yourself into a hot tub for a soak. That beautiful feeling is the death of brain cells in this case. People say if you drink alone you have a problem, I think if you need to be in public showing off while paying inflated prices you have a problem. I prefer to write, draw, laugh or even walk around. All of these things are free, at least in the dollar and cents sense. When I was unemployed I once walked to the grocery store and bought a pencil container and a Sharpie and drank an energy beer on the walk home because it looked like an energy drink. I had a nice heady buzz when I got home.
I love the knuckleball and want to learn to perfect it. I want to be 36 and a knuckleball pitcher, I would only play for the Royals or the Giants, ok maybe the Reds or Pirates or where Kahlil ends up because I think we would be buddies. After road games we would talk about how we worry about doing well in games and life in general at an IHOP or Denny’s late into the morning. I am not sure why I want to learn pitching or even why I am enjoying baseball so much these days. I just know I am, hell the Pirates beat the Giants tonight in the 14th inning and I wasn’t upset, sure we could use the game as the Dodgers were losing last I heard, but hey that many pitchers and I have a soft spot in my heart for the Pirates. Kellogs 3D baseball cards are my favorite cards ever I think.
Blackest Night- not only am I enjoying the story and all of the new lanterns but at the core of it Tim and I have once again bonded over a common interest. Last week’s Green Lantern was one of the best single issues I have ever read of something and then this week’s Blackest Night comes along and is just as good. Dead super heroes and new colors and characters man it is good stuff. Tomorrow I am heading to Lee’s for the big sale and may pick up a lantern shirt. I am really wanting to read the Mesmo Delivery stuff but I think it is all out of print. I wonder if tomorrow it will be super crowded? I plan on spending some time on the computer at the library and I need to get on the stick about my tasks but that is negative and we are not focusing on that.