Friday, July 24, 2009

Gut Loaded and properly procrastinated

So I am sitting here in Citrine and feeling bad about myself, I keep thinking about how I read this funny list on a site where they talked about what white people like and on the list was expensive sandwiches. I just wanted some cheap fuel before i headed over to the gym but the Quizno's's is gone and in its place some fucking wine tasting shit bar. Fuck you could get Diet Mt. Dew there too. So I am eating a little pizza and feel very sterile and white but the pizza is not too bad. However, they just played the Pet Shop Boys so now I have to listen to straight metal as i try and burn some calorie abuse off.
It is sad i have been meaning to write and post for a few weeks but never finished. Then a thought occurred to me. Who reads this shit? Maybe one person by accident and why do i think i am so god damn entertaining that i need to share everything? All of these new gadgets to keep you in touch are lame. We need to update the world and everyone about how interesting and unique we are. It reminds me of a musician friend of mine who thought he shit gold (hold on now we are talking they are playing The Boss "Dancing in the Dark" hell yeah, this song has depths that no one ever talks about. All anyone talks about is that Courtney Cock is in it and hell i have the video of Boss videos and she is off the chart cutes but this song is amazing. Listen to it sometime when you are driving after one of those long discussions with your other when your whole being is brought into question and then the Boss light will go off for you) and all his songs were great and worth recording and sharing. Guess what? Some were fantastic some were not. Some days as people we are insightful, profound and maybe humorous, but mostly we are inconsiderate, self absorbed and horny. So anyhow, here are a couple of things I jotted down, journal entries and blog starts. I have a new puter now and love it at times and other times want to hit grounder practice with it.

Gut Loaded for July 7th: First I guess I should explain what the term gut loaded means, but first let me just say that when I heard the term my eyes bugged and I chicken scratched as soon as I got to my car in my little notebook. It was comparable to when I was heart broken over a girl and found out that her name was the title of the saddest sounding song in TV, the theme to Taxi. Many nights I would be dozing off listening to the show and my parent’s laughter and then the credits would roll and that song would come in. But I bugged out when I found out the title and I bugged out (no future pun intended) when I heard the term gut loaded. I was buying crickets for the wee one’s gecko and the lady said they should be good as they were gut loaded which means they just ate and would provide lots of nutrients for Gecky (I have no idea why kids are so shitty at naming pets, the gecko is named Gecky, the fish is named Fishy or Swimmy, but hey I nursed him back to health so he is named Saint Walker). I for sure had a gut loaded day for sure, I feel fat, bloated and my self hate is boiling over. I made chit chat and smiled in the pet store and inside I was yelling at myself to shut the fuck up. Stop trying to be everyone’s friend, stop trying to win an election that no one cares about, just pay and hit the streets and be an inconsiderate asshole and just shut the fuck up.

Part of my mood today was having flash backs to earlier in life, people teasing and just piling on me. Now don’t get me wrong I can take a good teasing and ribbing but I prefer it to be at least funny, rhyming my name with fairie might have passed in grades 1-3 but at 35 it is hard not to just unleash on someone and tell them how fucking unoriginal they are. In a sense it is akin to school where in a sense you are being tested, if you take your heckling maybe give a bit back and not blow your stack you are fine and things continue. I guess in a sense it is hazing and a test indeed.
So I am writing this a day later, actually two days later. Things have been fine at work. I mean do not get me wrong I dig my job and I cannot put into words how wonderful it is to be in a good mood on the drive to work. Hell it is a testament to the place that I was smiling and profiling on the freeway at 6:30 to get in early to bust out some work involving the East coast. I graduated my hazing in a sense and thinking about it I look at it as a junior varsity jail system. I was glad I kept my cool and rolled with the punches and I couldn't help to smirk just a tad when one of the wise asses had his apartment broken into the next day.

Wednesday for some time has been one of my favorite days of the week, it is geek update heaven to me. Not only does the new programming for WWE 24-7 start but also the new comics come out. I blaze out of work at 4:30 and enjoy some 680 Sports radio and look forward to chatting with Andrew and I think his name is Brian. They are both guys that I would like to hang out with but I still have not figured out how to approach the topic and not seem like I am asking them out. On top of that the media has latched onto all this Bromance and man crush shit so two guys who like some of the same shit can’t go have a beer and become buddies. It is hard to make friends in most places but out here where people are so full of shit and inconsiderate it is near impossible.

Here is a back to basics pome i did, I joking wrote it about my family which is under fire often with someone in my life. I love those crazy farming background fuckers, imagine the following slowed down over weird beats:

Good deals are like sore dicks you just can’t beat them
Momma has a potty mouth
Says shit when she ping pongs
Said home team slept on defense to beat their meat
Report came in one Granny was a dirty leg
Who served her country for several tours of duties
But Gramps the Marine didn’t know or didn’t care
He might have had too many blanket parties thrown by his peers
Mom and Dad declared that they waited
But knowing what I know at least with 12 ladies
The conduct edges are blurry around some orifices.

7-17-09 I believe, I am still getting used to typing on a lap top. I type and call, call and type all day and I am not burned out on it. It is a great feeling to look forward to what a work day brings you. It is even greater as I am starting to feel that closeness and family bond with a few of my co workers. I like that they refer to several of my co workers as my sisters. I still can’t stand Joel the jackass and maybe because he is the man I want to be. When he told me about his weekend and rock climbing I just wanted to tell him to blow it out his ass.

Jesus Christ this new word sucks, I am trying again to write at 10:01 what I enjoy about life:
That swimmy heady feeling of the beginning of a drunk spell. It reminds me of slowly easing yourself into a hot tub for a soak. That beautiful feeling is the death of brain cells in this case. People say if you drink alone you have a problem, I think if you need to be in public showing off while paying inflated prices you have a problem. I prefer to write, draw, laugh or even walk around. All of these things are free, at least in the dollar and cents sense. When I was unemployed I once walked to the grocery store and bought a pencil container and a Sharpie and drank an energy beer on the walk home because it looked like an energy drink. I had a nice heady buzz when I got home.
I love the knuckleball and want to learn to perfect it. I want to be 36 and a knuckleball pitcher, I would only play for the Royals or the Giants, ok maybe the Reds or Pirates or where Kahlil ends up because I think we would be buddies. After road games we would talk about how we worry about doing well in games and life in general at an IHOP or Denny’s late into the morning. I am not sure why I want to learn pitching or even why I am enjoying baseball so much these days. I just know I am, hell the Pirates beat the Giants tonight in the 14th inning and I wasn’t upset, sure we could use the game as the Dodgers were losing last I heard, but hey that many pitchers and I have a soft spot in my heart for the Pirates. Kellogs 3D baseball cards are my favorite cards ever I think.
Blackest Night- not only am I enjoying the story and all of the new lanterns but at the core of it Tim and I have once again bonded over a common interest. Last week’s Green Lantern was one of the best single issues I have ever read of something and then this week’s Blackest Night comes along and is just as good. Dead super heroes and new colors and characters man it is good stuff. Tomorrow I am heading to Lee’s for the big sale and may pick up a lantern shirt. I am really wanting to read the Mesmo Delivery stuff but I think it is all out of print. I wonder if tomorrow it will be super crowded? I plan on spending some time on the computer at the library and I need to get on the stick about my tasks but that is negative and we are not focusing on that.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Another Friday Love and Hate

It is still the 28th for about an hour or so but it is Friday somewhere so a Love and Hate is OK.

Walking: I am writing this pissed I guess but I do feel a little better after going for a walk and walking the balance beam. Here Walking is what has kept me somewhat sane these past months and hell even before. I have had the pull up your hood and cry walk, the inspired idea generator walk and even the eccentric pickup sticks walk that is either Zen or a smidge of OCD. I have been thinking about keeping this my dirty secret and not because I am doing anything wrong but I do not want to portray myself as someone deep or philosophical. Lately when I go for the walk I will gather sticks as I go. Not just any old stick, I have some weird criteria that I am unsure of but I just know what I want when I see the stick. I have even looked at it walked a few steps and turned around and collected it I imagine I look pretty nuts, a husky fellow in a Cincinnati hat with a handful of stick in this manicured self centered neighborhood. It’s odd as there is some natural beauty here with the marshes but most of the great water ways say no fishing or swimming or private property, what a waste. I guess we just talk about the new Prius and sip wine and look at the water from our over priced town homes rather than jumping ogg the dock trying to catch a football.

So when I get home if I am alone I start or I wait until it is late and I am the only one up I get some pliers to snip with and I arrange the sticks in various patterns and ladders and cabins. I started doing it during commercials but soon was tuned out from the TV all together. Maybe I am just a bigger junior varsity version of a kid, still playing with sticks 30 years later. It totally relaxes me and I am tempted at times to glue pieces into place but fight the urge. And I would probably have to kick my own ass if I tried to make it into sculpture like the shit mobile I saw at the Golden Gate Museum. I worry that someone will wake up and find me sitting on the floor in the living room with my primitive Lincoln Logs. Soon I will be back to the real working world and there will be no more three mile morning walks with sticks, hissing geese and the occasional good idea (maybe I should drop this last part to hate).

Khalil Greene and baseball in general: OK I am a sucker for interesting backgrounds or stories. Kurt Warner is one of those stories, working at a grocery store one year and after that a Super Bowl ring. Warner I can see believing in God. I am sure he wished a better job and more scratch for his family and my God did God pay out. I imagine if there is a God in the bible sense he rewards those guys who never bitch about overtime and reward them like a Ned Flanders. Anyhow, I was watching the Brewers and Cardinals game earlier and was really enjoying it.

I scratched a note down earlier in the season with the name Rasmus to research him after I saw he was on a hitting streak and hit a huge homer a few weeks ago. So Greene comes up and I think Owen Wilson but I guess his fans refer to him as Spoccoli. The announcers were talking about his anxiety and how hard he is on himself. He looked troubled and me of being of the need of transfusion heart really got behind him and wanted him to do well. He committed an error and looked heartbroken but shortly after redeemed himself by almost an exact replay of the grounder hit. So I did a search and read about his trade and how he is a Bahai. Now another admission but when I was around 17 or 18 I researched religion. I wanted to find something to have faith in and believe in. But I am a picky guy, I kind of took an all or nothing approach.

My parents had some friends who were Bahai’ and they said it was about the only religion they could get into. I looked into it and liked some of it but got spooked by some of the people or hell maybe just with the idea of attaching myself to a group in a public setting. Well Kaleel is Bahai and his name translated means friend. I have a tendency when I get into something to research a lot and I think doing that takes away some of that new interest magic. I am going to follow Greene but not to the point where I want to watch his interviews and know every stat. It is a tough call for me because the Cardinals are coming to town this weekend and yes I want the Giants to win in a perfect world Greene would have a good game as well. *Note: While i was driving around this afternoon hunting down Pepsi Throwback and Green Lantern comics for Tim the Cards put Greene on the 15 day disabled list due to anxiety, hope he feels better.***

So it is odd that I have the baseball bug again. I am going to go into it more in my next zine. But I am watching a lot of games and have really gotten into the Giants. The Royals will always be home team but damn if these Giants are not a fun club. They just need some frickin’ bats. The trade is coming up and there are rumor about Matt Cain being part of the trade. I like Cain OK, but he is pretty erratic and at times will walk people in the first inning. I hate to say it but maybe trade Sanchez who is super erratic. I mean he is tough as hell as he took that line drive to the melon but he varies so much from inning to inning. Of course I would like to see the Giants come up with Greene or Rasmus but don’t see that happening. I am speaking from a fantasy league beginner fan with an idea or a hope. Manny is suspended and his replacement Juan Pierre is just killing the ball and does not suck as much in the outfield. In 50 games Manny is back and what do you do with Juan? How about bring him to the Giants and build the offense around him and have a Fuck Manny hat give away at the stadium. There are some fun teams out there and all I am asking for my babies (KC, Giants) is a .500 season.

Chipotle Steak Bowl with extra rice: at least once a week I head over to Industrial Road for this treat. God I am such a pig. Chipotle has the most amazing lime and cilantro rice and I used to always skip the steak and opted with chicken. I feel like I wasted some calories and chins and will now make up for them. Part of what I like about this treat is I usually go to the same location. The manager is a cool guy and he has a great crew of people. There is a big lug of a guy who usually says something nice like “hey it’s good to see you again.” He came over to my table and gave me a free coupon and we chatted and in a way it bummed me out because that was the nicest thing that happened to me that day. It is amazing to see people so nice when you know it has to be annoying with everyone having their own little quirks and amounts when it comes to salsas and cheeses. I have toyed with the idea of applying there but I am not sure if I want to ruin the magic by joining the cast.

Creating Dice Games and my Chipz: On a whim at Target I picked up a package of WWE Chipz which are poker chips with a photo on one side and an autograph on the other. They had chip values so I thought oh these are game pieces. I was surprised reading the insert with the lameness of the games they came up with. Most of them involved throwing the chips or flipping them which really just scratches them to hell so you have to buy more. I put them away and didn’t think much about them but picked up two more sets. The chips are unique and pretty cool. In a way I feel like Michael Keaton’s character in Night Shift, the idea man, feed mayo to tuna fish etc. I had been itching and dying to play Farkle and started to by myself (almost nothing sadder than a jobless chunk butt rolling dice and drinking Coke Zero at 2AM) and decided I could make a game with the Chipz. I have a singles match, a barbwire one (you lose points rolling into the wire) and am working out the kinks for the tag and rumble. It has been fun and I have a lot of pages of notes and notes and I am hoping to type them all out and make a manual. The wee man likes the game and it inspired him to help create a racing game which we made a track for and it is pretty fun. I am trying to figure out a simple baseball game and am almost there. On tonight’s walk I came up with a dice/ card game concept called Hollywood Dipshit. I need to jot down some notes but HD is coming.

Oh and on the Chipz front, I am starting to collect more and more as you need a big roster to randomly draw your player. I winced but winced with joy when I won the all yellow 10 chip of Rey Mysterio from Australia for $11 bucks. I guess there is something sadder than late night Coke Zero dice rolling.

Rollercoasters: No I do not mean the real ones. Although I used to get a little nervous on family trips as I was scared of them. No I am talking the rollercoaster of a day and some people’s moods. I am not naming names but if we could even just cut it to 3 drops like the Fire in the Hole ride at Silver Dollar City that would be great. And if someone could actually holler out “Fire in the Hole!” I could scramble and get my shoes and back pack together and scoot.

End of my early retirement: Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled to be rejoining society but I will miss the Sopranos at 9, Married with Children, staying up super late, drawing comics and writing until the wee hours of the morning, wearing baseball caps and shorts and having lunch with Amer. When I am working fries at McDonald’s in my 60s I will look back at these times fondly. Oh hell who am I kidding they won’t trust me on the fries and I will over think it and make to much out of the process. OK who am I kidding me in my 60s?

Not being able to see a Giants game during my time off. I had a day game set and that fell through. I may go this weekend but I liked the idea of sitting in the sun watching a game. Oh well at least I got to see a lot of movies in the morning. But this is supposed to be the hate section. Well I have a lot of hate but want to be more positive. Let’s just say I hate my weight and the fact that ice cream is calling me so late at night.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A Late Report of the SJ Comic Con

Note: I swear i am not just waking up from the food coma hibernation of In and Out Burger. I have not had a lot of time to play on the Internet. My summer vacation/reverse retirement is over. I am starting a new job June 1st and am really looking forward to it. Sure i will miss all of the writing i was doing, the long morning walks but I am a worker and hell they took Still Standing and the Sopranos off the morning schedule so maybe it is for the best. I am hoping to keep rolling on my projects and am happy to have finished 1 zine and created several dice games and I have done some comics that i do not totally hate. I will make a post about my zine Heel to Face and hopefully will have my short attention span zine done and one sketch book. Who am i kidding who reads this? ******

I believe this was my third trip to the San Jose Comic Con. Comic cons are interesting places, not unlike being around wrestling fans (yes I have been to a wrestling convention as well and kicked myself for missing one last week). The giant convention in San Francisco is nice and I have been twice but it is sensory overload. It is very comparable to when I was young and a music fanatic I was living in a small town where you could hardly find any music, so when we went to a good record store such as Love Garden in Lawrence (my future favorite hometown of 9 years) you had to take a list so you would not go blank and try to recall what and who you liked. San Jose’s con is smaller but just the right size where you forget where the booth was that had the $1 comics.

I gave myself a per Diem of $40 to spend. I had it in cash, which is rare for me. It was the same money I had set aside for the Giants game Wed. that I was unable to attend. I feel guilty about spending money while looking for work but I also wanted to have some fun to keep the void (what I call my blues) from fully engulfing me. I had a rough end to my week with my job search log having to be sent in again (which means no check this week) and having my flat German ass chewed to sawdust in the kitchen Friday night. So after a short dog walk I hopped in my trusty Escort and boogied on down to San Jose. I had an extra helping of guilt that Habitat for Humanity was having a turn in meeting today and I was going to try to make it. I did one Tuesday night (which was fantastic and a great experience, another blog another time) so I had met my commitments but was going to try and hit the second one.

I decided to do one lap around figuring totals in my head and maybe even make a second pass just to make sure. I take my per Diem serious and often dream of being rich and not rich in the sense of tailored suits and houses on the hills but of being able to buy my dad both of the Wonder Warthog comics I found and telling the guy to also bag up the whole collection of Tijuana Bibles. Yep nerd status full achieved.

Lately the household issue of space has been discussed once again, as in I need to box up a lot of my book and comics and rent a storage space. It is bad enough a lot of my tapes are in the garage but now I have to drive a mile or two if I decide I want to watch an old Starrcade? So sadly no figure buying or if I do I need to make them small so hopefully someday I can put them on a work desk.

Eye of the Gods by Gerimi Burleigh, $5: What a nice guy, very friendly and warm. I think of how it must kind of suck to spend so much time on your personal project that you are passionate about and have to sell it to people. Granted it is not as bad as selling insurance and for the most part I bet the people are pretty cool, but still it makes me want to buy something from every table to show the appreciation of what they are doing. Gerimi explained the book back and told me he would give me a good deal, they book is a small glossy black and white and I am on chapter 3 and it is pretty damn good. I also like how the main character looks a lot like him. It is a very well thought out story so far with characters getting a form of Lasik due to the UV rays being so bad. After the surgery the main character starts having visions. The cover is what drew me over as it is a fantastic color cover. You can get it at:

I picked up Eyes of Gods on my way out as that was my final run, I had ten bones left and thought I will pick up that nice fella’s book and that great Punisher art print for $5 and then to In and Out Burger! I saw so many fantastic artists this visit. I am working out comic ideas even with very little art talent and this trip was inspiring. The SF one was sort of disheartening somehow, there were so many people selling I remember thinking why bother there are way too many indy comics as is. I purchased the Punisher print and felt sort of guilty as I should have picked up something for my nephews or for Justin as a wedding gift. I did take a card so maybe I will appease my guilt by the power of the Internet. I love seeing different art work of popular characters. The Punisher was done by Justin C. Orr and you can go to his web site I am not sure what I will do with the print as I live with someone who is very serious and grown up, but it was just too cool to pass up.

ECW House Party 98 $10: I was going to pick up a comp DVD from I believe it was called Darkside, run by a movie fanatic. We talked a little about wrestling and how Bruiser Brody was his favorite and he talked about seeing Brody when he was known as King Kong Brody and how he and his group still cheered “Bruiser”. He had one comp that had a few things I did not have but between 24-7 and my collection I had most. I ended up picking up an ECW show for a good price, it had a nice cover color and all. I had most of the other shows but picked this one up due to the Justin Credible vs. Great Sasuke match. I believe they had 2 matches and I remember Credible coming out wearing the mask. I am still shocked Sasuke put him over due to reading about him being kind of a dick. The brawling at the beginning felt a little forced but it was not a bad match. This was yet another booth I could have dropped a ton of cash on various DVDs such as the full runs of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose and Get a Life with Chris Elliot. I did not pick up a card but the guy running it was cool and was shaking his head in amazement as a costumed Green Lantern went by with a hot girlfriend and we both just pondered the hows and whys.

One of the guys I was hoping to talk to was Mike Hampton who does some great comics. I went to an self publishing panel the year before and came away feeling very inspired. Sadly I have just now gotten around to attempting comics and a zine again but hey getting laid off does that to you. I took a small sketch he did of Iron Man and kept it in my folder (I am so 7 I have a folder I keep of news clippings, drawing, comics that cheer me up or that I find interesting). Sadly I had run out of money the year before but I was for sure picking up some of his books. I picked up the “How to Do Comics” and “Zodiac Killers.” The How to is great and super funny and it really has helped me with my attempt at comics. The Zodiac Killers is a great project where he takes each of the zodiac signs and illustrates the sign and tells a story of someone dying dealing with the sign. Some great and disturbing stories and a fun read. Mike was super cool and I hope I did not come across as a geek fan and I gave him a copy of my zine. He is working a new project about the weirdest people in the US such as the lady who fell in love with the Golden Gate Bridge, I offered up a few and hope I can find some information about the rancher in Jetmore.He does a comic called Capt. Asshole and I am planning on picking up some more soon. You can see some of his art and pick up a CD at

Lots o’ Punisher: I go through phases. Currently I am in a Punisher one. I am not very original but I love the Ennis ones, especially the Widowmaker run. I found a lot of good deals but had decided I wanted to spend most of my hard stolen cash on indy comics. I picked up a Daredevil and Punisher trade and the Punisher Holiday trade for $2 a pop. I also found a stack of $1 Punisher 2099 and just got the first one to check it out. I recently picked up a one shot 2099 (I think that was the year) about a mother trying to teach her son to take over the Punisher job that was great so I decided to look into this.

It would have been easy to pick up a ton of trades and I got a few but one I was happy to get was the America’s Best Comics Presents Vol. 1. I like these collections and am a walking cliché as Alan Moore’s work got me back into comics. This collection has a great short Grey Shirt comic and the first Tom Strong (which I have had trouble getting into). I love the America’s Best Comics logo and have always said that when I finally go around the bin I am going to get that logo on my wrist sentencing myself to a lifetime of long sleeves.

I went to a booth that had a nice girl running it and it was called the HERO Initiative. They are a non profit that helps out artists who have no health insurance or residence. Now I am a bleeding heart deluxe, I am talking Abdullah the Butcher blood, so I was intrigued. Many artists do not own the rights to their own characters and have fallen on hard times. This just seems crazy to me but I can see it happening. HERO had some good deals on some books and the money went to the organization. The one I picked up was great and what I have read has been good and varied. Just as with my music tastes and my wrestling I love a good comp with lots of variety. You can donate or become a member at

As I have been saying over and over ala broken record I could have easily dropped a ton of money at the con. I left with that good positive feeling and once again inspired to make yet another attempt at comics. I stopped at the madhouse of In and Out Burger and just enjoyed that weird glowing feeling and was chatty (flirty) with an attractive business lady who for some reason set down right next to me on the waiting bench. I hate how I look and my confidence has taken a shellacking but I can still bullshit pretty well. There was an older guy in great shape but shirtless and I remember making her laugh with a line about not enjoying eating my food while looking at old man tan nipples. I drove home listening to my new frustration the SF Giants and I think I passed out within 20 minutes of the final bite of burger.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Need nap getting sleepy... write more later

It is a rather warm Saturday and I am enjoying the air conditioning at the RWC Shores Library. I am not enjoying the noise all the kids make and the peering eyes of people. The crusty old man who lives in me wishes these kids would have more respect for the library. Well after a night of apparent narcolepsy I woke up to walk the dog and head to the San Jose Comic Con. It is a smaller convention and I like it more than the giant miles and miles of the San Francisco one. I will have a more detailed report of how it was and what i spent my $40 per diem I allowed myself. I am amazed at what I got with it. Write now I am slipping into a food coma due to the In and Out Burger I hit on the way home. Fantastic hamburgers and I decided to go for it and order the Animal Fries which are a secret menu item, fries with cheese, onions and thousand island dressing. So good and I am so fat so, so what. I even found myself flirting a little bit with the lady who sat a little too close while i was waiting for my food. I should go take a dip at the old apartment to make it officially a Best Day Ever (sung to the Spong Bob song of the same name). I needed a good day after not hearing from the place i interviewed at and finding out I had to refill my unemployment claim for this week. I have access to a puter so tonight I will write the long over due comic blog. Good night Irene even though it is the afternoon.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A quick one while my mind is away

I was hoping to get a blog in about comics I purchased last week and also a couple I picked up from Free Comic Book Day. It may have to wait until tomorrow. This week has had its ups and downs. I am still waiting on pins and needles to see if I got the job I interviewed for last week. Maybe I was not as dynamic as I thought. I was unable to go to the Giants game which is OK since they did lose. I have been feeling good and anxiety free but that was changed pretty quickly with one conversation. I knew I would be up late worrying but instead I created a dice and WWE Chipz game that I am pretty happy with. This morning I made a barb wire version of the game. I just need to write out the rules. So I am out of here. I have to pick up the wee man, off to soccer and hopefully later some job searching. Thank a higher power for my new found interest in baseball, Chipz game and my Cover the Earth hat I just found. More tomorrow.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Love and Hate and big sports news

So everyone is talking about the big story in baseball. Yup someone wants to pay top dollar for a Doug Frobel Pirates game worn jersey. Tee hee. Frobel was one of my favorite baseball cards as a kid. He looked like Funky Winkerbean (80's cartoon strip) and a little like Mike Deck who in the village of Haysville was like a Von Erich. I am for some reason baseball crazy and Thursday morning I was giddy with Manny's suspension. I hated him when he was with Boston and now the Dodgers. This year I am finally on board with the Giants, I think mainly due to the pitching staff but I am becoming a Benji Molina fan. This has been a hot sports week with Farve and now Manny (I guess A Fraud as well, although i would prefer he move into a wing of Madonna's giant vagina). I may expand a little later, but truthfully I am afraid of becoming a sports junkie who writes about it. So here is some love and hate for this week:
One of my best friends in the world getting married and being able to see it via the world wide web.
My long walk, the morning is nice but the night has its charm as well. I seem to come up with a lot of ideas and projects i want to do, IE the baseball game with dice and short attention span zine. I am not allowing myself to take the I Touch on these walks.

Benjamin Buttons: I sometimes pee on a movie due to hype (OK i do that often) but i Red Box rented this and loved it. I could watch a whole movie of Pitt as the old man the size of a boy. A very beautiful film that I am glad i put aside my notions of it. It is a very sentimental film that made me think a lot about the characters and family i have had in my life, yup I cried.

WWE 24-7: Really about the only thing that the E does correctly. I am overloaded on goodness this month with the Lucha stuff. They also have a Film Vault episode of Bill Watts. I am really getting into Billy Jack Haynes for some reason. The previous episode of Prime Time had some great matches, Sika vs. Muraco (Muraco did a driving front knee face crusher from the top) and a Broadway of Harley Race vs. Ko Ko. I like a dumb ass did not tape it. Great channel worth the $10 or so.
Farkel: I love this dice game more than cards I think. I just wish my mom was in the area so we could play and drink some cheap wine. I am hoping to teach it to the wee man as he is enjoying playing 21 or as he calls it Flapjack.

Not a lot at this moment. Had a great interview, I guess I hate how fat I feel but on the other hand I love eating. I am a little under the gun to get my Momma Day project done but as 5:27 I am feeling full but good. Oh I hate I was not at Strider's wedding, I hate myself for that one. Well maybe my old employer for firing me so I would not be able to afford the trip.
Tomorrow I will maybe write a little more. I am planning on reviewing the comics i picked up this week as well as more randumb thoughts.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Color me crabby...

So I have further proof that our computer age where we have lots of things that we cannot hold in our hands sucks. Yesterday I discover on my way too nice for me Itouch that somehow all of my purchased songs are gone and since i last used my girlfriend's lap top it is logged in as her. So I guess i will trudge to the mall this week and be made to feel like a hick by asking where my songs are. OK that is example 1, I am in the process of doing a zine and am doing it the old cut and paste way because that was how I learned and often I work on it at the new fangled screaming kids library and they have a new Word program that is hard to use. Well i went to open my template and file corrupt and it is the only one that will not open. In my own little world a zine put together with scissors and glue stick is needed now more than ever.

I really wasn't planning on being negative as of 3PM. I just wanted to flesh out a couple of reviews and blog here about the amazing character I ran into today. I had a phone interview which went OK in some ways (i made it to the second round) but the lady was short with me and cut me off several times. The home front was not to enthused about the prospect of data entry but at this point I just want to work. So I was semi grumpy and earlier when driving to a spot where i could actually get reception on my phone i saw this bearded, homeless looking guy i see walking around a lot (what makes this odd is I am currently living in a snooty town home area) rocking out on an electric guitar while crossing the street. I can't hear it but he is going off on it Ala Sonic Youth. I chuckled and laughed just thinking about all the BMW and Mercedes drivers being offended.

Well after my interview I saw him crossing and let him pass and he seemed really happy. I stopped and rolled my window down and said hello. He showed me his guitar which kind of looked like a Fender Jaguar but was covered in tons of white paint. I asked him what kind of guitar it was and he said he wasn't sure but he painted it and it was great for when he played it behind his head because people could see his name. And near the tuning pegs it said Jimi and he had painted the US flag on the back as well. He really didn't seem crazy really, more like an excited child showing an art project he had worked really hard on. If i wasn't beaming enough from this encounter in such a pretentious neighborhood he then says "I tried to get my girlfriend to come walk with me and she said no. So i brought my guitar with me so I would have someone to talk to." And really when I think about being mad about MP3 players and computers and looking for a job I think maybe I should just take a long walk and maybe something to talk to.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

On the Fly bare bones Issue 0

I am about to go and print up some full color covers etc. for my re entry into the dead concept of zines at Kinko's. I am taking it back to 1996 (wow what a great year) and producing a zine that you can send in the mail as well as read on the toilet. I am not sure of the title but I did a little one for a quick poop for a good shit of a friend Tim. I named it On the Fly as I was putting it together while working a crap job (wow that is a lot of toilet references) on a slow afternoon.

The insurance world is awful and not for me, but the I did get some writing done when I was often abandonned with little training. So here is the, I guess prototype to my zine which should be done this week. The official first issue has a lot of wrestling writing but also some comics and journal stuff. Enjoy and let me know if by some weird chance someone is reading this and even weirder that they would like a zine mailed to them or emailed as a word document. I also just realized that the photos I used are not transferring over, so I will just post a mug shot of a great wrestler Dick Slater who I hope is doing better.

On the Fly(I should be working) Issue: 1 Circulation:1

This zine is a one time special issue. What will it contain? The findings of a foolish boy from Kansas who should be working his butt off trying to make his sales quota but the boy is tired and alone in the office. Possibly not alone due to big brother’s computer eye. Is he safe from State Farm’s brown eye that blocks hotmails and you tubes and my wife Ashleys? Oops a friend told me. Is word safe from prying eyes? I am at least here. Right? All done on the fly.

Things I wish I could do better: draw, lose weight and smooth talk. I am a comfortable talker but by no means a smooth one. I often wish I had a choice of super powers. One would be that simply by opening my mouth and speaking people would fall in love with me. OK yeah that was a shitty movie called Love Potion #9. Now that I think of it if I had that power shouldn’t I use it for something other than selling insurance?

How did I end up almost 35 and in California which is so full of itself, that South Park episode was right it is amazing between the over indulged kids, hypenated names and Green cars that I have not ended up in a tower with a rifle.
No more ranting and moaning. Here are some choice cuts from the Diary of a Madman, wait scratch that Ozzy reference. Diary of a I am going to snap someday guy:
DIARY OF A POOP BUTT (excerpts the negative)

What I like as of 9-9-8: I got yelled at last night. I looked up flights home for Christmas. I read some of the new Sedaris book. I feel alone. I feel like 2 employees. I finished the Wire, I cried when Michael left Bug at the aunt’s house. I watched a horrible wrestling program XPW TV, Onita’s press conference made me laugh. Palin speaks like Pickles and looks like Tina Fey’s wise aunt. I think I look ok today. I wish I could take the day off and eat pizza and catch up on AAA. I miss the boys all of them nephews and friends alike. I have not done a lot yet today, just day to day stuff. I am thinking about looking into a part time job at a homeless shelter. I was proud that I shaved, showered etc. last night so I could sleep a little more this morning.

Hey kid this is not a library, is seldom heard. Now discouraging words…Had Subway in the park and hated myself, homeless laughing man in the gazebo, I should have given him half instead of waiting for the empty belch to finish… I am a prick. After lunch my peeing increases. I should be making phone calls. I will hang information on doors later and hope no one sticks angry dogs on my butt.
I am a false front, I walked into the parking lot and realized that no one really sees the dark cloud I have inside. Ancient Chinese Secret. Afternoon upswing, coffee breath and a crazy man from Bulgaria in the office, wealthy garbage man was he. Could I hang off those trucks and lose my sense of smell? Here yes in Kansas no with the cold and the ice storms, but it would be nice after a long cold day to warm up your feet and watch the weather girl and take a nap. I miss the seasons, I should be charged rent at Safeway. Good night.

The bump in the night/day of Sept. 10: Houston I had a problem, you know the shirt I liked? Within 5 minutes of preparing a dinner it was assaulted and thrown across the room by a lumpy guy who had Safeway chicken salad breath mixed with feta cheese and apple chips. OK OK it was me.
Hi here is my card for Sept. 11, 2008 not so lucky #7, maybe it is a death dealer card. Damn shirt does not want to stay tucked in today, smells like fresh laundry though. Had some wine and cheese and won a bottle of wine. Knee deep in the Skrull invasion and felt like one. Embrace change, change into more comfortable clothes. Digging up business as I think about elbow drop beat down and how I want to go to McDonald’s for a Big Mac and read comics in peace.

A demand list was given for the one hostage of the true me; a sports car, bigger house, nanny and a new baby. In too deep should take up soccer and block a shot every period with my testicles. Rich white and business like I do not believe is me. Not too bad a mood, some jokes but I was told I need to get thicker skin. Hey guess what you need to have a nicer mouth. The responsibility I guess is on the person who has hurt feelings.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to just leave everything all behind. Go back to Hays and work at Hastings and have a small apartment. I would be 3 hours from my friends and 1 and a half from my family. Or maybe move to New Jersey and get a shit job and go to wrestling shows. Or maybe I should grown up and quit being interested in comics, characters and toys. I am lost and it is bad as being lost on highways in the mountains late at night. Maybe I could go to Japan and work and go to BJW shows and enjoy the consideration and quiet of a full country. Maybe I could move to Canton and get a good house for a decent price, open a video store and live the rest of my days in a lonely peace. I know what I am supposed to want; big house and a nice car. I want a house where I can have my stuff out.

Top Ten Wrestlers My favorite 2 that are tickling my fancy as of 10-3-8 when I should be elbow deep in sales (this is on the fly god damnit):

1. Chessman I side with him in his feud with Cibernetico. Cibernetico is the HHH of AAA (clever huh?) A couple of weeks ago they had their first big one on one and he wore this odd orange doll mask with hair and removed it to have smudged black face paint. He looked deranged so it was great. He also in the same match took a nutty as a squirrel turd bump from a stunner off the apron onto a table. He lost but I hope they give him his own group with a certain gladiator I like. Yeah right. His throw away match with Ricky Marvin as his partner was so great, especially the spearing of Jack Evans through the ropes and a table. Chessman is a big caveman who bumps like crazy and has his mental good days and bad. I guess I relate.
Shadow WX: This pic is from his hot sauce board death match that I have not seen yet. It is getting mixed reviews. But hey I was excited to hear he won the belt again. He looks different now, slimmed down and tan. I wonder why guys go back to death matches after leaving it? I was just watching one last night and Shadow had tubes stuck in the front of his shirt and then got a knee splash. His death match finish is nutty as it is a light tube lariat. He is one passionate fella and hey Winger is back too. Will they team them up or have them kill each other? Knowing BJW they will do both. Heated singles match one day meaningless 6 man the next day.

The good:
Halloween type TV

Too many DVDs to watch

Burger King by the San Carlos airport

Skaar Son of Hulk

I had coffee today and a random girl smiled at me on Laurel St.

Sweet Brown Sugar aka Stagger Lee aka Koko B. Ware

10-30-8 is an overcast day with rain (finally)

The bad:
Baseball is over

No time to watch too many DVDs

Eyes watching over for State Farm

Bagging your weasel

Green, green politics- flamethrower this state

The ugly:
Said bagged weasel

The 4AM poop that died 10-29-8 onion
blossom covered in wet sand

Trying to sell something that you cannot touch, taster or fart on

*This quickly produced zine should be read on the toilet, but not for a big get a pillow poop but a quick one. For bigger and longer poops I recommend the following:
Planet Hulk
Joke Books
Wii manuals

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Taking bites out of a 6 foot poop hoagie

Well I just looked at my previous post and the poop smeared writing was on the wall. But did i have to read it the day before my birthday? Come on! Yep I was let go from the insurance world the day before i turned 35. In some ways it was a relief, but in one big way it is not. Yep money. Sure i was not making a ton but better than now!
I have filed for unemployment and had to send more documents to prove that I am what I am. Who the hell would want to be me? If by some chance my ID was stolen it would be returned in a matter of days. But I have been writing more and plan on updating this more often. I was paid a high compliment by she who cannot be named that my writing was well written. Never mind the content but you take what you can get.
The job market is really awful and even worse where I am living (if you can call it living). In the past when I was in crisis the nights were the toughest times. Now it is bad in the morning when i am puttering around and cannot sit still, trying to plan out how to be productive and not feel like a loser.
So on top of my relationship slowly tanking and losing a job i was not sold on (sold out maybe?) my Uncle passed away as well. For some reason it has really bothered me. I had not seen him for some time but I really liked him. I look around here and see these inconsiderate rude guys and think they are not half the man my uncle was. He didn't make a ton of money, but he enjoyed what he did, doing handyman work. He loved my aunt and I do not mean in the flowery overpriced vacation way. He understood the day to day things that show that you are tuned in and care. He drove her to work every morning, made her meals and would get up before her to turn on the space heater in the bathroom so she would not have to walk on cold tiles. I miss my family more than i ever thought i would. I miss the gathering and ball busting that goes on. My uncle was there with a smile and would often shake his head at our salty family. He was a Cowboys fan and I truly think that is the reason why i no longer hate that franchise.
Tomorrow is another day of searching for jobs and trying to not feel so damn down in the AM. I think of how George Carlin said in an interview about how dying would suck because he didn't want to miss anything that was going on. He loved sitting down and writing and just being around. I may never do this for a living but it does cheer me up... most of the times.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Good Lord are you kidding?

OK so I so Gol Eesh and Whoa Nelly but has it really been a year since I have put something down in this here blog? I am planning on writing more not that anyone cares. Valentine's still sucks a year later, but the photo of the real Loverboy Dennis Condrey says it ain't so. I got an I Tunes gift card, some candy and stomach cramps and the brown water runs for 09. The best memory I have of Vday is not flowers and romance but cropdusting a couple with a heinous thai food fart in 07. Smell the love.

What has happened in a year:

Almost broke up, almost moved out, almost almost.

I saw AAA live in San Jose. My love for Chessman is > most

I still resemble a water balloon with a ruber band tied around it (at least not a grape on tooth picks.... yet)

Much more but I am doing this on the fly at my job. Who knows how long this will last? Will the earth hurry up and end soon so I do not have to go through the trouble and being fake for interviews etc.