Friday, April 9, 2010

On the Fly, coming soon to the back of a toilet soon

Note: I have not had a chance to print this zine one out, it is four pages and i am going to send it to the usual three people or so. I feel like a traitor posting it here on the internet but oh well. I am going to try and post more here, maybe once a day no matter how boring and self centered. I have several zines i am working on but i hate to admit when i work more i am less creative. More soon....

OTF #2 or maybe three, I am not sure. OK so I used to try to make little zines at work. I think I did the first one when I was shilling insurance for State Farm, what a fucking joke. I am still angry with myself for how much time and some effort I put in. I was just working to be working like eating when you are not that hungry. At least being fat you get to enjoy the flavor, the only flavor there was of dishonest bullshit. Anyhow, this should be a joyous on the fly publication and not a hostile work environment. So it is 6:39 and I am trying to get a zine in a evening done (sourness may arrive in any form this evening). My plan get some writing in, maybe sneak out for some nachos and revel in the 13 inning opening home win for the Giants… Rowan who woulda thunk it?
Randumb: What an odd hit single “Under the Milky Way” for some reason I associate it with Gibson’s parking lot in Dodge City. I have been thinking about western Kansas lately as a old friend told me one of our popular head cheer leader girls died this week. 36 and I thought by now she would have a big family and a fat aging jock. Nope young 24 year old fella and lots of drugs and degrees. I had a weird thought if you would have put me head to head with her in circa 92 and asked which one will die from drugs and the party life I would have won in a landslide. Odd how things turn out and I have a feeling they will get odder as the years go by.
2 Wrestlers I am into Now:

Jon Moxley: A fairly good interview around the time of last year’s Peterson Cup
I am trying to write a tournament style deal blog of the ECWA Super 8 vs. the Peterson Cup of 2009 and it is slow going with baseball season in swing and work and just having to do things like laundry and sleep but one of the highlights so far was watching Mox have a melt down during the opening series calling bullshit on sportsmanship. I could easily see him becoming this decade’s Homicide or Samoa Joe (which it is weird to see how much everyone dislikes them now). The above link for the interview he talks about just wanting to smash someone in the face and forget all this shaking hands crap. I guess he is now the CZW champ and I need to go back and watch some of his stuff I have on shows I picked up for the Callihan/ Havoc feud. His chain match with Thumbtack Jack was great, I mean come on he came out to L7 how can you not dig him. He has this interesting gravel like voice and I cracked up when he said the ref “ Come on asshole hurry up we’re losing day light.” This match also has a funny finish but a sensible one. I am not sure if the big boys would ever call him up but they should, well I guess I hope they don’t because god knows what kind of a gimmick they would saddle him with. It is always a catch 22 with great guys on the indys as you hope they get to live their dream but really is it worth it?

Ryota Hama: I totally forgot about this big old lard lad that makes me feel a little better about myself. I need to do more research and plan on writing more about him and Mox, Hama just won the Triple Crown which is shocking. I plan on finishing watching that tonight. Fat boys rejoice!

Music Sucks:
I went thru this awful break up that was in itself not that bad but what made it bad was the still smarting wounds from the previous and a mid life crisis too early in life (I am in a full blown one now) and I remembered listening on a whim to American Music Club (for some reason I always go t those sad bastards) and finding the song Elbow Deep that was on a CD single I stole from the college radio station I worked at and just marveled at how great it was. Here are a few gems I have re discovered (I’ll burn em’ for you if ya like):
Fireside “Headacher”: somehow more poignant now.
Replacements: “ Birthday Gal” Studio Demo: so what if I am late to the party
Sleater Kinney “Oh!”: Oh Carrie you sing like a goat in heat and so am I. Oddly hot.
Silkworm “(I Hope U) Don’t Survive”: Ladies and gentlemen the best band no one likes.

Hell a Wheeze Tip: Listen to Sherwin Sleeves
The Very High Brow Journals of Weenus P. Wussman
Dated around 7-16-9
I should have watched more of Raw tonight but I did not feel up to the heckling. I played some ball tonight with a neighborhood kid and am worried that I am on the 10 year old skill level. My sidearm is better than my regular throwing arm. I think I have the K. Greene problem where I over think my throw. It was humbling to play ball Friday with a great college player. OK maybe he was a has been in his late twenties but he effortlessly threw way across the field and my pitches were pretty weak when he was kind enough to catch. I got to learn to throw a knuckleball. That way I can throw slow and not feel like a simp. My arm is not that strong but maybe it will get better. I love playing some catch and just chatting and thinking about the day. **Note: I remember making some decent catches etc. but struggling throwing the long ball and this guy was talking on his phone as he was throwing lasers to me.. eek, humbled indeed.
Jesus Christ this new word program sucks, I am trying again to write at 10:01 what I enjoy about life:
That swimmy heady feeling of the beginning of a drunk spell. It reminds me of slowly easing yourself into a hot tub for a soak. That beautiful feeling is the death of brain cells in this case. People say if you drink alone you have a problem, I think if you need to be in public showing off while paying inflated prices you have a problem. I prefer to write, draw, laugh or even walk around. All of these things are free, at least in the dollar and cents sense. When I was unemployed I once walked to the grocery store and bought a pencil container and a Sharpie and drank an energy beer on the walk home because it looked like an energy drink. I had a nice heady buzz when I got home.
Random thoughts
I was just thinking while listening to a Touch n Go sampler, there is a good Yeah Yeah Yeahs song “Bang” and Karen O strikes me as one of those girls who talks and writes about sex and put out this dirty vibe but was in reality probably a late bloomer and is all talk. I bet when she and Angus of the Liars broke up she was bummed as she was worried that from now on out she was going to have to live up to a image of debauchery and big ole tall untalented Angus knew the truth and was fine with it. Poor Karen.
Wow this Touch and Go Sampler is jarring a lot of memories, Enon is playing and well I thought it was Blonde Redhead. I saw them once and the girl had a dress gown on where you could see her side boobs and many young man was dazzled. My super record buddy asked me what I thought about the show and I mentioned a couple songs etc. and he was impressed because everyone else made a comment about the boobs. I was pleased but secretly that was the first thing that came to mind was side boob.
The first version of this exercise got erased as my computer without warning decided to run out of battery, maybe it is karma and I should not make word sport out of other people’s misery. I thought about this but fuck them for having a loud screaming fight in such a cramped area at night, have some mother fucking discretion please. Maybe it is appropriate that Move to the Country by Smog is playing right now, damn I was on a role on take one oh well.

An imagined conversation between the two new Russian neighbors who never smile or say hi when you see them, often their house is dark and somehow they have made allies with our nemesis the old smoking bag who has nothing to do with her life. I find it interesting that this lady hates us for little things and yet befriends people that would have violent screaming matches at night. The first line is accurate as I could hear it the rest I made up imagining him trying to assemble Ikea furniture.
“What are you doing smashing things? You are a fucking animal!”
“Oh what the fuck. This fucking paper instructions with no words, stupid cheap American shit. Maybe I should leave you to do it since you are so calm and never yell. Cool fucking customer you are!”
“I swear if you wake the baby with your screaming like mad dog I will gut you!”
“Ah big talk do you think you have strength. Oh I forget you sleep with baby all day watching television and occasionally shuffling round in your house slippers. Some mother, walk to park some mothers do you just watch shit shit shit all god damn day. “
“Oh I am problem? Don’t think I do not know you stay later at work so you don’t have to come home… overt times or what they call it. You just not want to come home.”
“I work too hard for this shit… ahh my thumb god damn mother fuckers shit fuck ass, I am going to smash this god damn thing to bits.”
“Stop you crazy fuck. Why don’t you just stop and quit raving like a maniac. Do not wake the baby, she has had long day.”
“Oh and fuck if I don’t. Get treated like shit from dumb 23 year old American fuck ass out of school to come home to god dam ungrate wife who spends money on shit furniture and call cards to call her back fat mother telling her what useless fuck I am.”
“She already know what you are no news. Fuck baby is stirrings.”
“No no please go take care of baby do somethings if you have energy, I just do everything I will finish putting cheap shit cabinet together. Baby comes first well no not firsts but after stupid fucking television!”
Hell a Wheeze Tip: Make Eli Whiteside your favorite ball player