Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Too Mew Pomes by some Jack Ass

A Honky, a Caballero and a Wilted Violet are in a Sub Shop and…
We try not to smirk as the elderly putter about the room
Rattling on about sam wich fixins’, It will most probably be our only we
Your rodeo man lingers about, one eye on you and the other on the free bottled sodas that he will take home along with you tonight
Working with food is a bad enough job indeed
But this, this is a worst case scenario giving people far too much democracy in their waist line fuel
Guys like me with starry eyes and an over inflated sense of romanticism to everyday struggles are not the answers, hell we are not even suggestions or flares of advice
If I could I would,
Knight you or queen you with an office job in the sun
Where you will never have to perch upon a milk crate to sort the cool items …sleep tight

The Nonsense or The Brief Art of a Kind of Fuck You
You or they or them won’t be happy until I am a better me
I won’t rest resisting until I at least have fleas
Told you it was brief

Monday, November 22, 2010

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the Twenty First and the evening of the Twenty Second of November Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the Twenty First and the evening of the Twenty Second of November Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two:

It is odd when I think about these odd rules I have for these writing projects that maybe 3 people see. Well I guess there could be more due to the randomness of the internet, which I experienced some of as I kept hitting next blog late Saturday early Sunday morning. Seems there are a lot of blogs about people’s children and social issues with way better designs then mine. Oh well, I saw Len Wein’s blog earlier this year and he uses the same standard generic Blog layout and if it is good enough for him then…

But this weekend I have been homebound due to a good old fashioned cold. It has been some time since I have had one at this level, maybe even years. For the most part it has passed but I am still looking forward to a good hot shower and earlier than usual bedtime (right after Walking Dead). But as much as it the idea of a positive mental attitude pisses those off around me (don’t ask) I try to keep upbeat and look at it as a time to not feel bad about being active and to catch up on some reading and watch a ton of programming on the NLB Network.
But these rules… argh on a Sunday night do I do a Tickled Fancy and put more than 2 things that I enjoy or do less and or post another thing, can I post more than once in a single day? I am for sure over thinking it all, I learned from my random scanning most blogs are short and self indulgent and on the fly. I guess I want to be the opposite Twitter and put content and really I am not doing this for that much attention, I would do it regardless.

**Note: I ran out of steam I suppose, it is now Monday night and I have had moments of illness both physically and mentally, super frustrated with funding and the cost of being an idiot in the modern world, maybe some ramblings will clear me up for a night’s rest to start over again tomorrow.**

**Another Note: Hey it did cheer me up!**

The Arizona Fall Baseball League: As the 2010 season went on I started finding myself being more drawn into the minor league baseball system. I think I went to San Jose almost as many times to see advanced A ball as I did to see the eventual World Champions. And as I am prone to do once my interest gets peaked I do my at an arms research where I walk the fine line of research but not too much so it does not go into the realm of fandom. I found myself following the San Jose Giants on line and started to enjoy and marvel at all the different teams and how great a lot of their mascots and uniforms were. I plan on writing a lot more about some of the mascots and some of the great promotions in the future. David Lynch night at Municipal Stadium will stick with me for the rest of my life and I am not sure I have anywhere near the skills to put it into words.

So after coming down from the high of the Giants winning the big one I felt lost. I was thrilled about the win but in some ways it turned me bitter with so many people becoming fans. So maybe my infatuation with the minors came about as a grumbly protest and part of not wanting to belong to a group anymore. This year I have been fortunate not only for the SF Giants to win but also the San Jose Giants in an amazing four and half hour affair that had me jumping up and down and going for a victory walk.

Somehow I found out about the Rising Stars game in the Arizona Fall league and that it would be on the MLB Network. I am not going to get into the details of the Arizona League and taxi squads and such but I will include a link, but in a nutshell many teams send players to play in this finishing school of sorts. The teams have great names (I just found out today a Javelina is also known as a skunk pig) and really cool logos. I instantly fell in love with the Surprise Rafters logo and decided I had to have that hat, once I found out the Royals, Brewers, Rangers, Tigers and Cardinals send players there I was sold daddy (not one team that I hate, yes Rangers all is forgiven). It was great as well because they wore the pro team jerseys but the Fall League hat.

On a sidebar I contacted MILB and thought my chances would be slim to hunt down a hat. I had no luck on line but a day later not only did they contact the league but put me in touch with someone in the office. She went way beyond by going to a different stadium and tracking down a Rafter hat for me and a amazing long sleeve shirt. To sidebar once again it was odd as when I called her I truly enjoyed talking to her and thought she was an older semi retired lady and she sent me some programs and her pic was in the front office section and wow was I wrong (girls who like baseball get graded higher on the cute curve).
But this is a small example of how great the minors can be and how they are truly fan friendly. Sure I went to the Giants Fan Fest at AT and T park and saw from a long way away most of the players, but at Municipal I almost caught a victory ball thrown into the stands and saw a fan ask Franciso Peguero “You got this?” when they had two men on base late and he was on deck and he replied “Oh yeah.”

So I was super jonesing for some baseball and the Arizona Rising Stars game did not disappoint. There are several things that I took out of the Rising Stars game but the two big ones that made me feel good are that the year of the pitcher is going to continue for several more at least as there were some great pitchers coming up among the ranks. Not all of them throw heaters, well Jefress did throw 101, but in what has been labeled as a hitter’s league there was some good stuff. And number 2 I really think the Royals are going to be pretty damn good in a couple of years. Eric Hosmer looked really sharp and Montgomery I think will be a good fourth starter as soon as the 2011 season.
The game was great with a walk off homer to win and it was nice to see Charlie Culberson doing so well, every time I saw him at San Jose he struggled (I just watched him in the Championship Game and he struck out thrice and had 2 errors, sorry Charlie I must jinx you 75% of the time). I plan on writing more about baseball in the future and how I am on the fence about Bryce Harper but another day.

I am already trying to figure out how to go next year to some games or weasel my way into working for Minor League Baseball. Now if I can just figure out how to get to see Lotte Giants games in South Korea and Dominican Republic Winter league I will be set for the year…yup I gotta a problem.

Gustav Hasford: It seems like every few months I go to my favorite library in this area in San Carlos and spend some time reading magazines that I am too cheap to buy. I have been burned waaay too many times by purchasing Wizard magazine. I mean there is hardly any content some months but I end up making an impulse buy for one article. So it is nice to be able to check them out there.
I recently picked up some and there was an article on Jason Aaron the comic writer and they talked about the influence of his cousin Gustav Hasford. My interest was peaked and in his office he had a shell casing on a little trophy stand that said Gustav Hasford “The Short Timers” next to some worn paper backs. So I jotted the name down in my beat up pocket notebook and a few days later searched thru a Barnes and Noble with no luck at all (funny how once you research something you feel silly for thinking that at one time you could just go out and buy it as easily as a Subway foot long).

I ended up finding a copy thru inter library loan and finally got it in. It was a beat up book and the image on the cover looked sort of like a high school Iron Maiden like drawing. As I waited in line to check it out I flipped thru and right there I saw the name that set off the light bulb… Animal Mother. Holy shit this is Full Metal Jacket, do I really need to read this as I have seen the movie 300 times?

Then I started thinking how great this will be to find out more details and maybe more background, to say the least I was thrilled. I read the book really quickly and went to see if I could buy a copy for my shelf and saw how out of print it was. Amazing to live in a world where we are in the millionth printing of Chicken Soup for the Corn Shoot and this book is not readily available.

Maybe it a conspiracy or part of the punishment for Hasford for stealing all of those books (read the web site for the bizarre true story), but this book should be in print. Hasford was a troubled man and died alone in Greece but the good news is he lives on thru his cousin’s work. On this web site you can read the Short Timers and the follow up The Phantom Blooper (I would prefer to have the actual book but hey the point is to read it and I think if I keep watch and time it right I can find a reasonably priced copy).
I am half way through the Phantom Blooper and it is just as unique and terrifying as the Short Timers. The site is chocked full of information about Hasford and his work and troubles and sign the petition already!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Christmas Coupons

Christmas Coupons

November 5, 2010 at 8:50PM Christmas quietly and officially started
It occurred at a McDonald’s on Chestnut in Redwood City, State of California, the northern part, across from the vacant lot, in the Latitude: 37.48 N, Longitude: 122.24 W.

In attendance was an old man with nowhere to go so his order was for here

A child approaching middle age with a diet on the run with somewhere to go but nowhere delightful so his was for here as well

A Hispanic family celebrating a first birthday ala poolside to the ball pit with the guest of honor bobbing more puppet like than curious baby like

Christmas started with Dreaming of a White Christmas and is survived by Frosty the Snowman who’s deceptively sad cousin Silver and Gold encored the opening holiday season

Eye contact was not made and sweeping and tray wiping started the shopping season with but a whimper of how many hours to go until falling asleep with the TV on…happy holidays indeed

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Rant, a rave and big plans walk into a bar and …..

A Rant, a rave and big plans walk into a bar and …..
Ahh the peaceful sounds of a mega ton train screaming by right outside the window… I feel like it has been in my head a good bit of tonight. It is 11:11 and the inside pounding my brain has been getting has finally lightened up. Could just now be the adrenaline wearing off from the Giants game or something as un sexy and boring as a head cold.
Anyhow, tonight is election night and I freed myself of my civic duty. I have a lot of people I love and respect and care dearly about who are passionate voters and I respect that. I just don’t want to play the game anymore. I really got behind the Kerry and Edwards ticket and maybe I am being a baby but I felt duped later…years later by Edwards. I guess we shouldn’t put anyone on that pedestal we are all flawed the question is to what degree. I am not sure where I heard the phrase “If voting mattered they wouldn’t let you do it” but it has stuck with me and just this year I fully committed to it.
I am now in California and just recently have I started feeling comfortable with my new home and my choices for Governor are a gravelly voice guy who has probably gone down on Linda Ronstadt and a billionaire with a forehead you could show a drive in movie on? OK cheap shots aside voting and backing a politician is like picking a favorite baseball player or hoops star, they have more money than you do and they will probably always will and they know of your existence and say what they do is for the people or for the fans but ultimately as long as they still get paid and have their higher quality creature comforts they don’t care much about you.
I have been following some of the elections tonight but in the same way I follow my Fantasy Football team or On line village site (shit I just realized I have not checked in I am sure it has been raped and pillaged har har). It is kind of interesting to look at the stats and project. Maybe it is the sports manager in me or possibly I am trying to substitute the soon to be lack of baseball stats with this race (the season is barely a day over for the love of Pete).

I had a feeling Prop 19 would not pass, it would have brought in a lot of money for the state but let’s just keep our no white shoes after Labor Day archaic ideas people. A vote on weed didn’t pass because of either 2 lame jokes:

A. Those in favor all wanted to vote at 4:20 and the polling location could not handle the onslaught
B. They forgot
So I have some plans on deck for writing and now that baseball is done I should have more time to write this and that and bad poetry with odd photos. I am still planning on writing up some stuff about this baseball season from the Giants winning to Matt Downs and why I wish he was still here to my fascination and odd affection to the Pittsburgh Pirates as well as my run down and musings on the team I am creating in Sim League Baseball. It is a team that is selected by my heart and not my head or top picks. I am teasing the idea of having my whole pitching staff being Knuckleballers and submarine/sidearm throwers. A team with the Niekro brothers and Johnny Bench…one word AWESOME. I am thinking of naming the team something homesick and thoughtful:

A. The Topeka Heart
B. The Dodge City Deliveries
C. The Ransom Rascals
D. The Lawrence Layaway Plans
The other project I was hoping to start tonight is sadly another men in panties grappling one. I was pretty jazzed to find the PWI 500 at a Barnes and Noble (of course I went back later and bought it when I was alone so as not to get teased and made fun of) and I know a lot of people hate the rankings and argue them but I enjoy it. I have a soft spot in my heart for it as it hipped me to some wrestlers many years ago and I remember buying it with some groceries at a Dillons when I was almost dead broke and my car was in the shop.
At times with wrestling it is more fun to read about it and talk about it than actually watch it. Maybe this will be case for the bottom of the barrell of the 500. I am not interested in watching and discussing the higher guys like AJ but am more interested in the guy in the South who wrestles in an armory and his biggest match has been with an old veteran. I am going to use the
wonder of Youtube and start at the end of the 500 and see if I can find clips and matches and watch the matches of ranked grappler. I have a good PMA (positive mental attitude) and am sure I will find some gems. So I am signing off to hopefully watch this week’s old NWA episode before Comcast deletes it before the stroke of midnight.

Monday, November 1, 2010


I think this says it all. I liked the Rangers before this but i could not take anymore of seeing W behind the on deck circle. I am stunned and have been planning on writing a season wrap up about baseball and all the little things that i have enjoyed it about it this year. I have some new ideas for writing projects and now i am a one sport fan (Foosball) at this time of the year i will do more. Right now i am just stunned about the Giants winning it all...feels good. Shut up a lot of folks. More later much more and more updates. Goodnight.

Monday, October 18, 2010

20 Minute or So Fiction: "The Content Kid"

**Note: I bought a used McSweeny's book some time ago and the main reason i picked it up was for this section of stories that were done in about 20 minutes. Some are great and many blew me away with how much depth and story was told in such a short time. I have done some in the past and decided to try one again. The idea of this character in minor league baseball has been bouncing around in my head for some time and i would like to write more with the idea/ character. It touches on a theme that is in my head a lot. Is it bad to be content, should we be grabbing for the brass ring??? Is there more soul in the minors??? Both important questions in my small universe. ****

The Content Kid 10:10-10:33PM October 18, 2010

Conrad “Content” McDoogal was an anomaly in baseball. He had many nicknames, The Single A Kid, The Double A Kid …Junior. But Content seemed to stick.

The TV Reporter interviewing him after the Rivets victory asked him how it feels to be on the championship team for the second year with a smirk. We all know what he was implying and by all I mean the 100 people in the stadium and the 15 or so watching on the local cable channel. What cut thru his words were I know what would feel better than winning again with bums and that would be losing with winners in the bigs.”

But ole McDoogal didn’t blink he just looked at him and told him it felt great and there wasn’t a place on earth or a team around that he would rather be on. And depending on who you asked it was either a great moment in hometown pride or the catch phrase of a chronic underachiever.

Now don’t get me wrong McDoogal had been in the bigs and he really didn’t care much for it. He had even been on some of those teams that had been “close” and it just didn’t feel right. No heart, nothing to strive for, no soul. He often found himself on the big clubs with guys he saw when he was in the minors and often the spark was gone or they were afraid of being traded or worse, sent back down.

The ole Content Kid (actually a full fledge man winding it down) never intentionally played bad, never got himself sent back on purpose. He played hard and had some moments in the big time sun. But it just never suited him. Fans were spoiled expecting perfection while wearing their $300 jerseys. Calling into radio programs and ripping apart the same men who were heroes the night before.

He had to ask himself what was the point, the higher the game the higher the preservation. McDoogal could seem himself eventually making more than he could ever spend, getting more attention than he ever wanted and he simply said no thanks.

The way that he called his own shots to save his sanity in baseball was tricky. He believed it wouldn’t be fair to tank games, no he respected the game and there were many men and boys who wanted to take the yellow brick road. He simply volunteered to learn positions that were brand new to him. He could pick up the skill eventually but never as rapid or as masterful as a pro.

His true home was left field and that was fine with him, he respected the position and was a master at getting a jump on bloopers and reading fair or foul. Managers in the show would sometimes call him up for a solid pinch hitter with a good eye for walks and one of the best swinging bunts ever in the game.

Often they were shocked when they called him in to give him the news he was going back to the Rivets or was traded down south to the Tanners and he grinned and said “Well all right” as if he was receiving a promotion.

He was a content man enjoying the game in the fashion that he wanted to play it. He enjoyed taking pictures with the fans, going to local grade schools and signing his card and riding the bumpy bus to the next town. Life was content and content was good for him.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

And why do I do this to myself as well? 1 a.
I would like to say these bare images only see life in the reflections of night but I would be lying

They have seen the early morning of a sick day and an afternoon after a dentist visit

Excitement in tingles of situations if were under my nose or belt buckle I would be repulsed by

But how repulsed? Finish the task and as soon as the face is flush the act sets in? Regret?

Or would the toll fare be set in play…

With some thought count me out the distance is fine

Return to faggotry Pt. 2
Really a prize? A medal?

You tell me people really spend their parent’s money on this shit?

There is probably a guy named Frank in accounting at your Dad’s office that could be a poo poo poet scholar if he ever tried

What is more fucked up Confucius? A pant load making $10,000 an inning or a pant load who spend as much a semester for poems?

**(or me sitting here at 10:03 Tuesday night in a sense banging his head against a wall and being the tree that falls and no one hears or cares)**

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Return to faggotry

Thru the course of several jobs and minutes added up to hours

I would jot down on sticky notes and scraps the poetic musings of that particular hour

Always knew when pressed or asked by some little goof in my head I could just jib jab jib jab

Spill out a poem with at least one or two phrases that did not upset the soup in my stomach too much

I knew I would be back… but what for?

Why do I do this to myself? 1

Usually a Saturday night after a pre nap before bed
I prowl the internet streets at night near wee morning looking upon the faces of ex loves with new loves

Those damn blaster self portrait shots of their new loves

And I assign a value to their douch baggery that is usually quiet high and maybe a bit insulting to a functioning douche bag

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the Fifteenth Day of September Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two

I am at work by the time I usually get up for the next week and a half, I am dieting and have felt at times out of sorts this week. I went for a walk tonight and it seemed like every 100 feet there was someone who was shady in their own way. So with my face flush and fighting the grump I figured it is a good time for a Tickled Fancies entry, you have to have that PMA (positive mental attitude) that the Bad Brains always sang about. And hey I am worried that someday I will fully lose my lid and only write about obscure mid card matches or grown men with painted faces or both so let’s light this candle.

Tuesday Nights TV is the Tits: For a short spell (see blog posting from a few years ago) Tuesday was ECW night and they had a nice short run of some good shows or at shows with at least one good match. I followed a little of the NXT and was not too blown away, especially after they killed the best heat in years on a Tuesday with the follow up. So Tuesday was often a night where I would catch up on some comics or tinker with this here writing. Well Tuesday has become the night to look forward to due to 2 shows, Louie and Scrappers. The only problem is they come on fairly late so I am often in fear I will doze at commercial break (I have and thank god for On Demand).

For a long time I have been a fan of Louis CK. His HBO show was hilarious and insightful all at the same time. It was one of the more relatable comedies I have seen. Yeah there was a time when Roseanne was somewhat on the level but then they did all that horseshit with new babies and winning the fucking lottery and by then it had lost all charm. I was thrilled when I knew Louis was going to have a new show and was sort of bummed it was on FX but then I was reminded that FX pushes the limits quiet a bit. I am sure if I gave a damp shit I would have read what the critics are saying and I am sure the Curb Your Enthusiasm are aplenty. Curb is ok but I find myself only being able to watch maybe 2 episodes in a row. It makes me uncomfortable and I find myself cringing a lot and it gets a little overdone for my taste.
Do you cringe watching Louie? Oh yeah but it is not every other scene and where I find Larry David somewhat mean spirited I find Louie in a sense a hopeful man who knows that life can really suck and take it out of you. The show really captures a lot of those odd happenings in life that haunt us forever. I liked how some shows would be heavier on the comedy and then the next episode (the Religion one) would not make you laugh at all but show you a accurate portrait of a kid and what religion can do to him. The season is over and you kind of got the feeling that was the end of this show as well. The ending was beautiful in a real life realization way.

Batting lead on Tuesdays is Scrappers and it runs on Spike. I am not sure how I came across this show, it was probably a show they ran after TNA one night. And I have to say Spike has a few entertaining shows. Not that 1000 to Die one that show is repugnant and fucked up. I think the creator, writer director has some weird fetish of watching near naked women being killed.

So this show follows 3 crews in New York as they hustle trying to makes some cash on metal and recycling. I have watched every episode and just love it and the odd thing is I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it is romanticizing about the days when I got to do similar work, you know tearing shit up and loading dumpsters. You kind of hate it at the time but trust me when you live in an area with no space and you sit at a desk for the most part, throwing giant metal shelves in a dumpster at the library sounds pretty sweet. The characters have that stereotypical tough guy attitude but you really get the feeling they all like each other. They truly capture some of the silly and bizarre conversations you have with co workers as you are riding around in a shit box.
This season is almost done and I am not sure if there will be another one. After watching the show I often have a smile on my face. Sure a good bit of this show is a work but who cares? I have to wonder if this show would ever blow up would Sal the Barber actually get to fight in the UFC? Some nice cross promotion there I tell ya’.

Soundtrack thus far for the week:
The Jesus Lizard “Destroy Before Reading"
Pedro the Lion “Indian Summer”
Hot Snakes “Unlisted”
Scratch Acid “Cannibal”
Shellac “The Dog and Pony Show”

Monday, September 6, 2010

Mid Card Mania Pt. 1

I am not sure why I am writing so many words on a match that happened nine years ago and really was not that great. I have been wanting to do a section called Held Up where I re watch matches etc. of the past. Not just the wrestling mind you but other films as well. My problem is I have so many ideas for projects but also other responsibilities and excuses that keep me from doing it. Case in point last night I planned on doing a second watching of this match with a notebook at hand and fell asleep watching Platoon on Spike (why I still watch movies that I own on edited TV I have no idea).

So I guess why I wanted to write about this match is I wanted to find something positive. The whole world, especially the internet fans of wrestling are so negative about pretty much everything. And they are especially hard on CZW. CZW holds a special place in my heart and I still check out some of their stuff now and then. It was around 2000 or so I guess when I started getting into the Indys and CZW and RF video are to blame and although both have huge glaring flaws I guess they hold a place in my stinky heart. So I guess I could call this the first write up of Mid Card Mania or Accentuate the Positive, probably should just call this JB has awful taste in wrestling and not in the hip contrarian way but the too dumb to even be called a mark way.
CZW A Higher Level of Pain April 13, 2002: 4 Way Match with Some Barb Wire Ladder Deal

The Cast of Characters:

The Messiah: Owww Billy. Later in his career the Messiah got gear and for some reason he lost some of his appeal to me. I liked his black pants and tee look, kind of like your friend’s older brother who was the best skateboarder in town and would stick up for you when he wasn’t hassling you. I am not sure what happened to the Messiah, I remember the story of him getting his thumb hacked off and somewhere in a box of unmarked tapes I have the America’s Most Wanted episode that has the interview and reenactment, I could go more into the thumb story and all but is Lizzy Borden a woman worth getting your thumb lopped off for? Sadly there would have a time when I would have said uhh maybe. I remember a fond time in my life living a medium sized hermit life when I would order a CZW show as soon as it was available on Smart Mark and it would show up like clockwork on Saturday and I would spend most of the day watching it and kicking back…good times. I bring this up because I recall having the death match tournament one when Mondo wrestles the Messiah who was a surprise participant and I actually was really pulling for the guy. I would be interested to see if my memory serves correct that on those super early XPW tapes that the Messiah matches were the best things on there.

Adam Flash: I always wonder if Adam Flash’s gear worked against him in the long run. I for some reason kind of dug it and I hope he scored Slipknot tickets for life. He usually had nice khaki shorts with a tucked in Slipknot shirt and odd printed boots. One time when I was visiting my parents I flipped on TNA when it was still on FSN and lo and behold there was Flash in a squash against Monty Brown and he took that pounce almost better than anyone had at that time. I am sure I have the match somewhere on one of my odd TV tapes at the time. Flash is a pretty good wrestler who has been around for a long time and never got a big break. When I was really starting to get into the East Coast Indys around 2000 I used to read Eric Gargulo’s columns and he talked about how a show about Adam Flash would have been way more interesting than MTVs Tough Enough. Or at least they should have had Al Snow’s students meet Flash to see the other side. It is funny looking back that in some regards Flash came out ahead, sure he was not on MTV but he is still working. What happened to the Tough Enough kids? Excluding Nitro and Josh the others did a few indy bookings here and there and that was it. Adam Flash >Tough Enough. I think some of the biggest leg drops in history have been done by Flash and to my knowledge he has never broken his tail bone. Long ago I must have re wound the leg drop from the ladder to the floor on Justice Pain a million times.

John Kronus: I was fairly late to the ECW party and came aboard when I finally had unlimited PPV while working for a cable company. And mind you not like the high falutin’ On Demand we have now but 2 channels that showed movies most of the time and on Sundays would show the PPVs. The Eliminators were gone and Kronus was teaming with New Jack which was an ok team. With Kronus as The Eliminators they were a fantastic team. I know a lot of folklore spins it where Heymans marketing and hype is what got them this title. But I tell you maybe it is just my messed up way of thinking but I would much rather watch an Eliminators match than a British Bull Dogs one. Now Kronus is gone and I was kind of sad when I heard about it. I heard that he was a really goofy bastard and Saturn was his handler. I just imagine how sad and puppy dog he looked when he found out that Saturn was heading to the WCW. It is interesting I think of him being gentle and Lenny from Mice and Men when he looked so crazy with nutty tattoos and all. Maybe it was the printed letter from his son in the Observer where he talked about his dad teaching him flips that makes me think of him as maybe not such a bad dude. Kronus’ weight would often fluctuate, one show I would see him and he looked jacked and then he would look super doughy. But no matter what size man was he graceful. The vampire in me always knew you could count on him for a massive blade job, although often it was not called for but I guess that is part of what made Kronus Kronus.

Chris Hamrick: He is sort of an internet darling, and no I am not talking about the Facebook posting but the positive posting and sections of podcast like on Segunda Caida. Hamrick is the movie you watch some late night when you can’t sleep that turns out to be great and better than the movie that you spent $20 to see a few nights ago. I used to do a lot of my tape collecting via Ebay and for some reason picked up a Best of New Jack and if I recall it was a Hamrick and Julio Dienro match that turned into a New Jack raping match. Watching it you kind of felt like you were watching a initiation for the new guys and it was rough. Hamrick wears odd gear and his face looks older than what he is. He takes some of the nuttiest bumps and has broken his tail bone and he probably did it in front of thirty fans in a tiny gym. His team with Smothers as Southern Commodity is fantastic and makes me think I need to get some of my old IWA tapes sent to me. He is one of those wrestlers that if I know he is in a match I know that it has a pretty good chance of being entertaining. Give me Hamrick over any smooth skinned flippity floppy or fake ass Dynamite Davey Richards any day.

The Match Itself: So I am not sure when I first watched this match but I finally gave it a second viewing this festive Labor Day Ultra Chill Weekend. A nice night of baseball and I broke the lose while I am there live curse of the San Jose Giants and felt good after my work out but knew I was living on borrowed time so I popped this in before I took a snooze. It starts with some profane promos and maybe I am old fashioned and I am not sure where I learned about promos (I guess from Strider who learned from Dory Funk Jr.) but I agree with the idea that when you curse in a promo it looks low class and comes off unintelligent (again yes I see the humor in using intelligence with wrestling). I do have to chuckle when Flash does the whole “Hey I will be right back let me go get my barb wire ladder.” Hamrick comes out then and gets into a debate with Messiah and says some cringe worthy stuff and at this point I just want the match to start before anyone else talks about Rob Black’s female friends.

So Hamrick and Messiah start throwing mediocre punches and Flash comes in for a double team and suddenly Kronus runs in making it maybe a tag match or a four way who knows CZW was never good about explain stipulations and rulings. This turns into what the kids call these days a Hot Mess. Garguilo’s commentary is sort of annoying but at least he didn’t go into one of his outrage rants with the cursing and I have to give him some credit as he tried to give some back story about Kristi Myst being Hamrick’s ex wife and the current beau of the Messiah (a work by the way and Hamrick and her only have matching tattoos and probably some memories of a Motel 6).

So nothing extraordinary is happening just some brawling and the crowd starts to turn on Kronus who looks really heavy and is wearing warm up pants and a t-shirt and is super slow and looks winded. Unfortunately the signature Hamrick bump I was looking forward to does not get filmed as the camera is on a ladder neck tie into the post ARGH!! So Messiah gets decent color and at some point to no one’s surprise Kronus gets color as well. Flash hits a pretty hard chair shot on Messiah to the back of his head and they go up top after Flash hit a pretty good Cactus Clothesline.
Now here is where there is a nice small detail in the match. Flash puts Messiah face down on a table and Messiah does a great job at looking dazed and around trying to figure out where Flash is and what is going on. Flash goes up to hit his leg drop and Messiah moves and I am not sure if I am impressed with the dedication to your art form to do a dangerous good shot at my tail bone being shattered leg drop from about twenty feet or wondering what the hell is he thinking. CZW isn’t going to pay your medical bills, maybe throw you a benefit but I am pretty sure they do not offer a decent health plan. After a small amount of selling they end up on even higher ground and Flash hits a great looking DDT on the wooden stage and wallops Messiah with about 7 light tubes that are bundled together. It makes a great sound but I think it was a foul tip which is fine as I am sure Messiah would not be happy to lose an ear in the mid card.

Hamrick did a good job bumping around for Kronus and Kronus hit a pretty nice moonsault and his girth actually made it look even cooler. Then the blown cost you a job spot happens as Hamrick climbs up Flash’s shoulders and attempts a elevated leg drop and Kronus is way too far out but Hamrick already committed. I have to say amongst the “You fucked up” chants Hamrick does a good job selling the tail bone. Then all of a sudden inside the ring Flash drills Hardtop the ref and that is the end, so I guess barbed wire ladders and brawling with absolutely no ten or even twenty counts is fine but they draw the line at putting your hands on the ref. Flash and Hamrick high tail it out of there and Messiah gets on the stick and gets in some more profanity and they chase after the heels (I guess Hamrick and Flash are heels oh CZW you can be so confusing). The crowd seems kind of let down and confused and ready to move on to the next match. So we had some big spots, double blade jobs and no finish and not that much advancement of the angle. I would have dug a Flash and Hamrick regular team but alas it never happened.

The following is a snippet of a great interview with Chris Hamrick regarding the match:
QUESTION: You worked with The Messiah one time when you and Adam Flash wrestled he and John at CZW A Higher Level of Pain. What was your opinion on the quality of that match? Is the Internet rumor true John Zandig was angry that you botched a flying leg drop during that match and therefore he refused to invite you back to CZW?
ANSWER: I thought the match was the drizzling shits. It wasn't even a match. It was just four guys doing nothing. If it had been a regular match, it would have been better.I never even got to do anything with Messiah except for the promo. I hate to say it, but Kronus fucked everything up. I did it as a favor to John Zandig, since he couldn't get Kaos. The leg drop spot was fucked up because when I went up to get on Adam's shoulders, when I looked down, Kronus had rolled out too far for me to hit him from where I was. I had no other choice but to jump. I had never heard that rumor, but thanks for letting me in on it. All those nights I sat at home and wondered why Zandig never called me back, wouldn't take any other bookings, just hoping he would call and book me. Well - damn - that explains it. Zandig, if you are reading this, I did you the one favor and this is how you repay me. Now, you can't afford me.
In Closing: So I guess it is odd that I wrote a couple of thousand words on this match but hey gotta stay sharp I guess. As for hot messes it was somewhat enjoyable and was more about the potential than the execution. I have a few ideas on how to continue this project and have a few subject ideas that I want to go more in depth. Maybe through writing about these mid card, insignificant matches in the grand scheme of wrestling I will be able to put a finger on why these matches appeal to me. And as a wise man who was in the mid card on a show once said to me “The world can’t end every day.”

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Ongoing List of my Favorite Painted Face Wrestlers:

The Ongoing List of my Favorite Painted Face Wrestlers:
Ax of Demolition:

Some time back I got an invite to do a list of favorite wrestlers for a project. The project ended up not happening which was good because I hemmed and hawed about my list. First of all the irony and silliness in rating wrestlers, hell even writing about wrestling in lofty Da Da stream of consciousness is not lost on me. I realize how many others my age are finishing their masters or out right now having sophisticated wine to cap off their organic dinners and I sit here debating the ranking of big sweaty cartoons come to life. So with the list project I was not sure whether to be totally honest, somewhat honest or take the smark route. I have never had main stream tastes for anything even as a kid and personally I enjoy Dennis Condrey more than Ric Flair and still to this day Justice Pain is one of my favorite guys to watch.

So I kind of met in the middle and started thinking about how much I dig a good face painted wrestler, especially face paint that stays on and does not clump. I am pretty sure this will not be a ranking system but just every once in awhile (maybe weekly) I will do a write up on a face painter. And don’t be surprised if Nate Hatred gets more love than Sting it doesn’t mean anyone is wrong or right, it just means I may be a tad touched.

Demolition Ax: I think part of my love for Bill Eadie is there is some resemblance to my Grandpa John. When I was younger I remember a rare occurrence of watching wrestling with my Dad and when Ax took his S&M mask off my Dard said “Holy Shit it is your Grandpa… Kathy come and look at this!!!” I think what helps further drive home the Grandpa vibe is the clip I watched on Youtube of their Kayfabe Commentaries video and he is wearing a nice golf shirt just like good ole’ Grandpa John.
Ax is another one of those team members where I love him and could really not care much about the other. I mean Smash and Crush were OK but I always kind of new under their paint they were younger mullet head gym rats. I have to say the matching of silver and gold with the slicked back hair is a bad ass look for him. Demolition looked a bit scarier with their pain then the Road Warriors. I think part of that was I never cared much for the Road Warriors mo hawks, you know the perfect square patched that look like porno star pubic grooming circa 1997. Eadie worked pretty snug too and a lot of his forearms to the back must have felt like a four by four on your back.

While looking up some pictures of Ax I was amazed at what a diverse and long career Bill Eadie had/has. He was a Mongol, a Masked Superstar and a uhhh S&M guy??? There was a Blog reviewing Demolition matches but I think it is shut down. However, there are some clips and discussion here:
I am planning on spending some of this Labor Day weekend watching stuff randomly and may do some research to watch some of the older WWF stuff. There is a definitive set made about Demolition that has a ton of discs but honestly I cannot see myself watching all the wrestling I have now, so I cannot see watching every disc of that set. I am hoping I can get the guy to sell me just the Japan disc as it has peaked my curiosity. There are some interesting looking matches and I would like to see more of Eadie in the Ax garb in singles competition.

I have not seen any of the recent Chikara stuff Demolition did and I have heard beyond the novelty it is not bad. I always say even at an old age if you can walk and throw a good worked punch and bleed you can have a pretty good match. I hope that Eadie is doing shows because he misses it and not because he needs money. He was a teacher at one time and his web site said he helps at risk kids. In a perfect world his help would consist of putting a bunch of bad kids who can’t be reached in a room and he comes in dressed in full leather man gear and paint and proceeds to whomp the shit out of kids.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the Second Day of September Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the Second Day of September Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two:

Thursdays have the potential to eat the big one or a big one. Not too bad of a day, work went at a good clip. Not too fast and hectic but busy enough where the day went quickly. I was able to listen to 2 podcasts while working done by like minded wrestling fans. The three day weekend looms and so does my ever increasing once again neurotic diet. I somehow wrapped my brain about it and I almost think you have to get a touch high and mighty and full of shit to make it work. I think the after work hour commute made me a touch grumpy but I am working out of it. I have to remind myself this is about digging things and being positive.
Grandys: Maybe it is being on a diet, maybe it is a super power akin to us husky lads but it has been years and yet when I did a Google search for Grandy’s and saw the image of the Okra and chicken fried steak I could instantly remembered what it tasted like. I don’t know what sparked this memory, maybe it appeared from the other night when I could not sleep (I often think of fond memories or locations I am fond of to relax me). From age 5 to 12ish I grew up in Wichita KS. and we hardly ever went out to dinner and when we did it was usually McDonald’s. It is funny that a kid who went from looking forward all week to a Happy Meal has now had a steak in the tallest building in San Francisco (hope I do not sound boastful I am just as shocked as anyone how this happened). Up a little higher on the chain was Grandy’s and I think I have asked my folks if there are any around. I thought maybe my recollection was incorrect at it was called Granny’s but it was Grandy’s and there are a few around. Of course they are nowhere close to where I live. Grandy’s is kind of a symbol of growing up in the 80’s in Wichita, life was a little more simple. My job was to get good grades, my love was G.I. Joe. It is funny to think my parents then were about the age I am now, and I appreciate the job they did with 2 odd kids in a unfamiliar city.
Sure I have had more home spun truck stop kind of chicken fried steak in my day but Grandy’s had something in it, maybe sugar? Crack? Was crack even around then? Wow pre crack and pre texting sounds like heaven to me. I say fuck Italy, Rome and Paris take me on a cross country drive with a buddy or two hitting up small towns and or baseball parks and let me stock up on Grandy’s.

Ventura featuring David Yow: The Jesus Lizard played a reunion show a year or two ago and I am glad I didn’t go. Not that they would have been awful, but I am often in my head dealing with the odd nature of how these artists of my past were so great and noble and underappreciated are getting old and in some ways hanging on. I hang on to it as well but in smaller ways such as going to Rasputin’s and buying a lot of CDs of my college and on hipster days (by the way it hurts a little that my selections are usually in the under $5 bin). I started to get on a Jesus Lizard kick again and really re sparked my interest in David Yow as a singer and writer and person.
Long ago I read an interview where David Yow said his wife (sadly I think he is divorced, I liked the idea of him having a sweet wife, well now he does have a girlfriend) would not come watch him play because he just got too drunk and out of control. And believe me I saw The Jesus Lizard and it was an intense show, I kind of hid in the back and was just in awe of how out of control Yow was. Recently it clicked and I finally figured out why I like Yow’s vocals. You know how when you like a song and you do not the lyrics and you just kind of mumble and hum? Well that is why I like his vocals they are not always words often sounds or gasps. That being said some of the Jesus Lizard lyrics are good.

So as I often do when I am on hold or pause at work a person, idea, movie etc. will pop into my head and I will have to Google it for an update. So I looked up Yow and found out he was an artist and did touch up work and graphic design. With further Youtubing I found the clips below and really like the song. Ventura is a French band that I am sure was blown away playing with one of their heroes. I have no idea if they are a decent sized band but it is odd to see the guitarist with a Sonic Youth sticker on his guitar, come on man you are not a Lookout pop band be professional. The video is good and simple and the song is not too bad. The other 2 clips are a small documentary that was filmed about Yow and his visit to play with the band. I think Yow would make a great subject for a full on documentary, and I say this because sure there is the crazy shows and violence but I think there is a lot of depth to him. The film has a touch of sadness and the last scene when he talks about aging and not liking mirrors really stuck with me. We are all getting older and some are still putting out work and I wonder why and the only thing I can come up with is because that is who you are.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the First Day of September Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two:

Journal of Tickled Fancies for the First Day of September Year of Someone’s Lord Two Thousand and Two:

Darren Ford: Called up to run bases for Gigantes, a need for speed on the base paths. Guillen moves in the outfield and on the base paths like he has been flying all day in cramped corners and has pins and needles deluxe. Burrell who I dig for being the king of game winning sac flys is slow as well. Imagine being called up in a pennant race not for your defense or batting but just brought in to pinch run. Hell if by some miracle the Gigantes win (yes I know good and proper it is Giants but I am paying homage to the best mascot I have seen in some time) he will get a ring as well and I am pretty sure you do not get a smaller less impressive ring if you simply ran the bases in the series. Tonight he aggressively ran the bases and scored the winning run in a tight game with the Rockies (sorry Todd Helton I still dig ya). Ford doing that is one of the those small little things that endears a player to me forever, like a good sleeper film or a band that had one good EP.
Certain weeks this day can edge out a good Saturday with sleeping in and hearty breakfasts. The WWE channel changes the programming and depending on the month etc. it can be gold. And as I am letting my geek flag fly a little more around people they know Wednesday is golden due to it being new comic day. Light week, heavy week I at times hate myself for knowing what is coming out of interest to me but forgetting when my student loan is due. No matter how shitty a day is going there is always a little something to look forward to.

So I think I will make this a shorty and just put in 2 things that I am appreciative of. It is late and i still need to hose off and read a few comics. There are many more things that i dig and am grateful for. One being having air conditioning, it is stuffy here in RWC and I took the dog on a walk thru the rougher area and there are not many ACs. It is interesting the difference between a downtown full of organic eating, Prius driving enlightened snoots and beat down bike riding, pit bull having tough looking customers is as simple as left turn or right turn at Middlefield. The goal is to be positive and appreciative and to try to write those million or so words of crap to get to the good stuff. How many blogs and shit poems until you get to the center of good writing… let’s find out.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The circle of life thru bad sound quality and newsprinty hands

My hair is thinner than it used to be, i don't like to be drunk in public, i am amazed kids get signed before playing live and i appreciate a good nights sleep. But yet i perked up a few months ago when i saw the Gilman exit, wow that famous club we used to read about as young idealistic lads in Dodge City, no way am i going to a show there i mean i gotta work early and that is a bit of a drive and blah blah. I have been checked out of music for some time now, well if you do not count the recent trip to Rasputin's where i bought a lot of old hits from my college DJ days. There is a definite time drop off line around 2001. Wow 9 years out of the loop. They lost me at skinny leg jeans and the dark parade and all. Much too pretty and tech savvy most of these guys are.

So on a Sunday after a nice nap i walked over to the brand spankin' new library to maybe pick up a movie or some discs. I happened to pick up the book about Bay Area Punk "Give Me Something Better. So un punk, in a brand new library, safe out in the burbs with the city in the book close by but hey i was curious and it was an oral history book which i am a sucker for. The book has been great and i cannot put it down but something even more odd came of it.

It got me thinking of Maximum Rock n Roll and how i used to pick them up, how their touring Bible Book Your Own Fucking Life caused my phone bill to jump in college. My roommate booked a tour using that book, nothing like getting an automated voice mail warning you of your bill spiking like your dumb ass roommate's glued hair. I enjoyed the columns but a lot of the music seemed to sound the same and felt kind of sophomoric. Yeah we all hate the cops, we are all poor and hate the system and most of our bands start with The. As far as politics and outlook it reminded me of painting, they were painting wide sections with a big ole brush where i was seeing that not every thing was so broad and sweeping. I would still pick it up from time to time and picked up a few free copies at Love Garden.

So as i thought they have gone partially into the world of the Internet. On a lark i decided to check out some of their podcasts and for the last few days that is pretty much all i have been listening to, especially at work. The DJing is casual and at times i cringe at some of the statements, which i think is a combination of my age and the big ole paint brush is still active in punk music. The boundaries of what they play seem a little loser which is nice and i would say on an average hour podcast i hear about 4 to 5 songs that really appeal to me. Sure some of the songs are not my thing but it is a fun adventure to go thru especially when you are at work surround by Drake and Kanye fans and you are churning out work.

It has been great to now add researching music to my already geeky research of wrestling rarities and comic book finds but i want to keep the punk world at a distance. Granted some of these songs are wonderful but a whole album may not be good, a live show may be awful and uncomfortable. So i am going to love this recent find in my life in this little universe all of its own. These small perfect moments that make me feel a joy that i thought was long gone.

One of my favorite songs is Golden Staph "Dr. Tony", one of the finest 2 minutes songs i have ever heard. They only have a cassette release, ha who is laughing now my 97 Escort once again proves it loves me with its cassette player. Sadly i have not been able to get it thru the links but may send an email to the band.

Top part has a review:

Friday, April 9, 2010

On the Fly, coming soon to the back of a toilet soon

Note: I have not had a chance to print this zine one out, it is four pages and i am going to send it to the usual three people or so. I feel like a traitor posting it here on the internet but oh well. I am going to try and post more here, maybe once a day no matter how boring and self centered. I have several zines i am working on but i hate to admit when i work more i am less creative. More soon....

OTF #2 or maybe three, I am not sure. OK so I used to try to make little zines at work. I think I did the first one when I was shilling insurance for State Farm, what a fucking joke. I am still angry with myself for how much time and some effort I put in. I was just working to be working like eating when you are not that hungry. At least being fat you get to enjoy the flavor, the only flavor there was of dishonest bullshit. Anyhow, this should be a joyous on the fly publication and not a hostile work environment. So it is 6:39 and I am trying to get a zine in a evening done (sourness may arrive in any form this evening). My plan get some writing in, maybe sneak out for some nachos and revel in the 13 inning opening home win for the Giants… Rowan who woulda thunk it?
Randumb: What an odd hit single “Under the Milky Way” for some reason I associate it with Gibson’s parking lot in Dodge City. I have been thinking about western Kansas lately as a old friend told me one of our popular head cheer leader girls died this week. 36 and I thought by now she would have a big family and a fat aging jock. Nope young 24 year old fella and lots of drugs and degrees. I had a weird thought if you would have put me head to head with her in circa 92 and asked which one will die from drugs and the party life I would have won in a landslide. Odd how things turn out and I have a feeling they will get odder as the years go by.
2 Wrestlers I am into Now:

Jon Moxley: A fairly good interview around the time of last year’s Peterson Cup
I am trying to write a tournament style deal blog of the ECWA Super 8 vs. the Peterson Cup of 2009 and it is slow going with baseball season in swing and work and just having to do things like laundry and sleep but one of the highlights so far was watching Mox have a melt down during the opening series calling bullshit on sportsmanship. I could easily see him becoming this decade’s Homicide or Samoa Joe (which it is weird to see how much everyone dislikes them now). The above link for the interview he talks about just wanting to smash someone in the face and forget all this shaking hands crap. I guess he is now the CZW champ and I need to go back and watch some of his stuff I have on shows I picked up for the Callihan/ Havoc feud. His chain match with Thumbtack Jack was great, I mean come on he came out to L7 how can you not dig him. He has this interesting gravel like voice and I cracked up when he said the ref “ Come on asshole hurry up we’re losing day light.” This match also has a funny finish but a sensible one. I am not sure if the big boys would ever call him up but they should, well I guess I hope they don’t because god knows what kind of a gimmick they would saddle him with. It is always a catch 22 with great guys on the indys as you hope they get to live their dream but really is it worth it?

Ryota Hama: I totally forgot about this big old lard lad that makes me feel a little better about myself. I need to do more research and plan on writing more about him and Mox, Hama just won the Triple Crown which is shocking. I plan on finishing watching that tonight. Fat boys rejoice!

Music Sucks:
I went thru this awful break up that was in itself not that bad but what made it bad was the still smarting wounds from the previous and a mid life crisis too early in life (I am in a full blown one now) and I remembered listening on a whim to American Music Club (for some reason I always go t those sad bastards) and finding the song Elbow Deep that was on a CD single I stole from the college radio station I worked at and just marveled at how great it was. Here are a few gems I have re discovered (I’ll burn em’ for you if ya like):
Fireside “Headacher”: somehow more poignant now.
Replacements: “ Birthday Gal” Studio Demo: so what if I am late to the party
Sleater Kinney “Oh!”: Oh Carrie you sing like a goat in heat and so am I. Oddly hot.
Silkworm “(I Hope U) Don’t Survive”: Ladies and gentlemen the best band no one likes.

Hell a Wheeze Tip: Listen to Sherwin Sleeves
The Very High Brow Journals of Weenus P. Wussman
Dated around 7-16-9
I should have watched more of Raw tonight but I did not feel up to the heckling. I played some ball tonight with a neighborhood kid and am worried that I am on the 10 year old skill level. My sidearm is better than my regular throwing arm. I think I have the K. Greene problem where I over think my throw. It was humbling to play ball Friday with a great college player. OK maybe he was a has been in his late twenties but he effortlessly threw way across the field and my pitches were pretty weak when he was kind enough to catch. I got to learn to throw a knuckleball. That way I can throw slow and not feel like a simp. My arm is not that strong but maybe it will get better. I love playing some catch and just chatting and thinking about the day. **Note: I remember making some decent catches etc. but struggling throwing the long ball and this guy was talking on his phone as he was throwing lasers to me.. eek, humbled indeed.
Jesus Christ this new word program sucks, I am trying again to write at 10:01 what I enjoy about life:
That swimmy heady feeling of the beginning of a drunk spell. It reminds me of slowly easing yourself into a hot tub for a soak. That beautiful feeling is the death of brain cells in this case. People say if you drink alone you have a problem, I think if you need to be in public showing off while paying inflated prices you have a problem. I prefer to write, draw, laugh or even walk around. All of these things are free, at least in the dollar and cents sense. When I was unemployed I once walked to the grocery store and bought a pencil container and a Sharpie and drank an energy beer on the walk home because it looked like an energy drink. I had a nice heady buzz when I got home.
Random thoughts
I was just thinking while listening to a Touch n Go sampler, there is a good Yeah Yeah Yeahs song “Bang” and Karen O strikes me as one of those girls who talks and writes about sex and put out this dirty vibe but was in reality probably a late bloomer and is all talk. I bet when she and Angus of the Liars broke up she was bummed as she was worried that from now on out she was going to have to live up to a image of debauchery and big ole tall untalented Angus knew the truth and was fine with it. Poor Karen.
Wow this Touch and Go Sampler is jarring a lot of memories, Enon is playing and well I thought it was Blonde Redhead. I saw them once and the girl had a dress gown on where you could see her side boobs and many young man was dazzled. My super record buddy asked me what I thought about the show and I mentioned a couple songs etc. and he was impressed because everyone else made a comment about the boobs. I was pleased but secretly that was the first thing that came to mind was side boob.
The first version of this exercise got erased as my computer without warning decided to run out of battery, maybe it is karma and I should not make word sport out of other people’s misery. I thought about this but fuck them for having a loud screaming fight in such a cramped area at night, have some mother fucking discretion please. Maybe it is appropriate that Move to the Country by Smog is playing right now, damn I was on a role on take one oh well.

An imagined conversation between the two new Russian neighbors who never smile or say hi when you see them, often their house is dark and somehow they have made allies with our nemesis the old smoking bag who has nothing to do with her life. I find it interesting that this lady hates us for little things and yet befriends people that would have violent screaming matches at night. The first line is accurate as I could hear it the rest I made up imagining him trying to assemble Ikea furniture.
“What are you doing smashing things? You are a fucking animal!”
“Oh what the fuck. This fucking paper instructions with no words, stupid cheap American shit. Maybe I should leave you to do it since you are so calm and never yell. Cool fucking customer you are!”
“I swear if you wake the baby with your screaming like mad dog I will gut you!”
“Ah big talk do you think you have strength. Oh I forget you sleep with baby all day watching television and occasionally shuffling round in your house slippers. Some mother, walk to park some mothers do you just watch shit shit shit all god damn day. “
“Oh I am problem? Don’t think I do not know you stay later at work so you don’t have to come home… overt times or what they call it. You just not want to come home.”
“I work too hard for this shit… ahh my thumb god damn mother fuckers shit fuck ass, I am going to smash this god damn thing to bits.”
“Stop you crazy fuck. Why don’t you just stop and quit raving like a maniac. Do not wake the baby, she has had long day.”
“Oh and fuck if I don’t. Get treated like shit from dumb 23 year old American fuck ass out of school to come home to god dam ungrate wife who spends money on shit furniture and call cards to call her back fat mother telling her what useless fuck I am.”
“She already know what you are no news. Fuck baby is stirrings.”
“No no please go take care of baby do somethings if you have energy, I just do everything I will finish putting cheap shit cabinet together. Baby comes first well no not firsts but after stupid fucking television!”
Hell a Wheeze Tip: Make Eli Whiteside your favorite ball player

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Wednesdays and Weekends #2

#2 Issue

I thought this was going to be a small pull week for me this week and it turned out kind of middle ground. For once my karma worked for me as this is a in between payday Wednesday, well I treated myself with a variant cover for Green Lantern, usually the variants are gone by the time I get there. Which is too bad because Lee’s is one of the coolest shops not only for the great people that work there but the fact that they do not corn hole you on variant prices and usually just charge a couple bucks more. I love going to this store and mentioned this to Ryan and MP and they said to call in the morning on Wednesdays and they can put one in my file. Part of what I look forward to about picking up comics is chatting with the guys as I mentioned before.

It is good MP is a wrestling fan as well and we got to talking about the new bullshit rule of no chair shots to the head and no blading. We began talking about the joke of a Wellness Policy and such when Ryan asked what we were talking about and I responded with shame and hushed tones of “wrestling.” It got big chuckles and he said we looked embarrassed and we had the look of being caught. As I was thumbing through my pulls I noticed sure enough there was the illusive #6 issue of Anchor. I was kind of bummed as I just purchased it off Ebay for a good deal but hey I will just have both covers of this fine comic.

Anchor #6: I am not sure what it is about this comic but it is in the same vein as the Great Ten for me as in I am not totally wild about the art but the story is fantastic. Actually I like the Anchor’s art work a little bit better as it has a certain charm to it. The covers for the Anchor have been phenomenal and that is part of what drew me to this book. I love how the story progresses giving you a little more each issue and this issue and #5 had huge events happening at the end. Clem is one of the most interesting characters to come along in some time, sure people keep comparing him to Hellboy but I imagine someday he will be as big. This issue gives us the most extensive look into Clem’s past and I loved seeing him as a young lad and how even with people using him for his strengths to do their bidding he still had a good heart that only needed some guidance.

One thing that I really like about this comic and all credit to Boom! Studios is their really is a punk rock community feel to this title. I can honestly say I enjoy the letter section as much as the rest of the book. Phil Hester’s passion about this character comes through, and not too sound too hokey but it makes me want to work harder on my writing and characters. There is a letter when he says he knows $4 is a lot to spend for a book and he will try to make it worth your time and money.

Believe me this is a fine book and you can get caught up with the previous 4 issues in trade at a super reasonable price. Oh and my second copy showed up today and the cover makes me think I may need to buy each cover each month…wow.

Favorite Part: Page 13 After the raiders have killed Isemay they are fleeing by boat and Clem chases them down and the dipshit raiders think he is wanting to be on their ship and one actually tells him to keep the anchor they tied to him to drown him. Clem throws the anchor and it all turns bad for the raiders from there.

Green Lantern #52: I think White Lantern Sinestro may be my new favorite looking character, he just looks great in the uniform (whew I sound like I have some Sinestro sugar in the tank). That being said I liked this issue but was not wild about it. I really do want to try to be positive when writing about comics because I think there is more than enough shit talking in the world. The last few Green Lantern issues have been good but not blow me away good.

The return of Parallax was not really that much of a welcome one with me as I felt like it was a case of déjà vu. But oh brother did I get even more than I ever wanted with Ion, Parallax and the other ring colors power animal, what the hell is this a Chinese take out menu? The Nekron parts were good and man alive I love how he is drawn, especially after picking up his early (maybe first?) appearances in Captain Atom. Not a bad issue and I think I will get more out of it after a re read after reading tomorrow’s conclusion to Blackest Night.

Favorite Part: Page 12 Nekron literally slices Sinestro down the middle and is splashed and an odd purple blood.

The Rise of Arsenal #1: I think I have only read one Green Arrow trade and enjoyed it. On a whim I have picked up the Green Arrow Rise and Falls and have loved it. Several people I have talked to have marveled (no pun) that these issues have actually really piqued their interest in the Green Arrow character. Now keep in mind I am no expert on comics and just a fan who does not feel the need to know every single fact by heart so as a semi newbie I will write about this one. This book hits the ground running, really there is only about one page of peace when Arsenal is talking to his kid. I do not know a lot about Prometheus but what I can gather he is sort of a minor villain and that is what I love about this story. A minor guy commits a heinous act that sets so many things in the DC universe into action.

The scenes with Roy in the hospital are pretty intense and maybe it is just me but there is a little bit of acceptance in Roy about his arm and then her presses further about things to find out what must be his worst nightmare came true why he was out cold. And enter Ollie who is one of the most real characters currently in comics. He has finally had his limit and does not give a fuck about the hero’s way of justice and only cares about the satisfaction of making Prometheus and others involved pay. It is really gripping and emotional towards the end as Roy talks to a junky ghost of a friend and shuns everyone and kicks some muggers asses and pops pills. The scene in the morgue is powerful and I believe I have heard a variation of it from a movie, but the idea of a child crying out for a parent to save them and they don’t is a nightmare for sure. I will for sure be picking up the rest of this series.
Favorite Part (feels weird writing favorite with such a heavy book): Pages 12 and 13 that have no words and just show the Justice League’s reactions.

Breaking Into Comics the Marvel Way #2: The first issue just came out a week or so ago, yeah I could look it up but am lazy, and I loved it. I am a big fan when Marvel does a short story collection. For awhile I was picking up Amazing Stories or something or another. It had the Arno Stark stuff and a great short of Spiderwoman as a private detective and stopped due to lack of a job last summer and never got back on track (have a feeling I can pick the missing ones via cheap o bin) but enjoyed it.

Last month’s had that certain intangible quality where I was still thinking about it that night as I went to bed and thinking that was way better than I expected. This second issue had some heft to it and I for once did not roll my eyes at the price… $3.99 seems fair. I wish this concept book had more to do with unknown writers more than artists though but that is just me being selfish in hoping for tips and advice for writing as my drawing has barely improved from the 3rd grade. The Fantastic Four story was pretty good but pretty standard although I liked the part with the Thing strapped to the teeth rushing the monster. The Thor story was a nice fable but I was not too fond of the art work as for some reason I cannot get into that odd blocky Magma art. My favorite was the Hulk which told a dream story mixed with reality with no words (wait a minute wasn’t I just complaining about this being an art centric book, walking contradiction I am). I liked the dream sequences of gladiator Hulk fighting his enemies while a hot chick is being chased in the woods in reality. The two X Men tales were ok, I didn’t like the art work for either and for different reasons.

I hope it doesn’t sound like I am pissing on it as I respect anyone who can draw and do this kind of work it is just not my favorite. The Dead Pool short that closes out is really entertaining and has a nice twist. I have friends who say that Dead Pool is the best comic going but I there are several reasons that keep me from picking it up (call me petty, no not Tom), such as I hated the ad where he is saying “X X Baby!” yuck and I hated the spoof on the Blackest Night with Dead Pools Corps. Yeah I may just be a communist for not liking this and Kick Ass comrades.

Favorite Part: Page 21: In the Hulk dream story the hooded killer is chasing the girl and she does the classic horror trip, well to be honest they draw her super hot. Oh and I guess she spits up at the killer and the splatter on his cheek looks like chew, what is she from the cast of Hee Haw?

Secret Warriors #14: I was kind of shocked that we are already on issue 14. I have really enjoyed this title, it is not a blow away title that I come away from just shaking my head in awe but it has been a good consistent title that has covered a lot of ground, commandoes, children of gods etc. This title has really made me a fan of Daisy and I enjoy the banter between her and Fury, I just wish there was more Dum Dum Duggan. One of these days I need to pull out all the back issues and re read them, at times I get confused with the different organizations (excuse me again all powerful and mighty comic fans). At times it feels a little like a G.I. Joe title with the secret organizations and military ops but then they add some great work with the gods. This issue started out with some great banter between Daisy and Fury and switched into a different gear with Viper pleading, the Viper scene did a great classic set up of suspense and the trail off dialogue into a shocking full page reveal. This is another issue that I think is part of a larger story puzzle. It may not seem like a lot on its own but full realized it will all make sense with Orion, Leviathon and Hydra.

Favorite Part: pages 13-14 When J.T. and Daisy have a drink and J.T. tells Daisy the only reason he is sticks around is to be around her. Hey look at that the romantic in me is just on life support, what a great line of dialogue “Whatever it is that a woman doest to a man … you do that to me."

If I had to put the Wednesday list in order (wow this is a tough one except for the #1 slot):

1.Anchor #6:
2.The Rise of Arsenal #1
3.Secret Warriors #14
4.Green Lantern #52:
5.Breaking Into Comics the Marvel Way #2

I ended up doing my usual perhaps compulsive second go around pick up Sunday. I had a little cash in my pocket as the guys paid me for the UFC fight tickets so I figured I could maybe pick up a few things I was on the fence about on Wednesday. I really needed to get some air as I saw my opening for some short relief from yet another marathon play date. This one involved an egg drop at the bridge which should have been fun but I tell you 8 to 9 year olds can argue and ruin almost anything. Times have changed for youth in so many ways, the scheduling of playing is just the beginning. One of the ones that bothers me is the bargaining factor and the toy/ rewarding for no reason other than being on a plane of existence. Remember when you only got toys on your birthday and Christmas and maybe for a good report card? Anyhow, I need to shut my Dr. Phil cake hole and write about the Sunday pick ups. I only picked up 3 books and thought about doing the random pull from the cheap o bin and reviewing it but I think I have some from a random $3 bag from Rasputins which will work perfectly for that, now if I can just find those. So here be some mo’ ramblings on comics:

Hellblazer: #265 Part 1 No Future: Hellblazer is something I pick up now and then, usually if I am aware of a new story arch I will pick it up or if I see a collection like the Christmas one. I have the first trade and really liked it but have not followed up due to time constraints and having to work for 8 hours at least a day rather than read comics and day dream… drat. The Sid cover was pretty interesting and I remembered enjoying the issues about Constantine’s old punk band days and thought this may tie in nicely. It is odd that this arch is only 2 issues. This seems like a story that could be fleshed out a little more, I mean come on the Chas spin off was what 4 issues. The art work does a great job at showing the aging Constantine, if I recall he is one of the few characters that ages in real time hence the pot belly and wrinkles.

Constantine’s old buddy Faeces calls him up for some help with Sid Vicious which is a creepy doll/ statue and he warns him that the conservatives are coming. The Faeces character is one I am too familiar with the aging punk, and the section where Constantine gives him some tough love is interesting as suddenly something comes out of the nasty statue. His relationship with Epiphany is interesting as you are not sure if he actually likes her or if he simply sees some use in her, is he really jealous or is he the same grumpy walled off person. Something is in the Sid idol puppet and it made Constantine feel young but what is it? Since it will only cost me $2.99 you bet I will find out the answer.

Favorite Part: Page 10 When Faeces reveals the Sid shrine and Constantine says he feels a little quesey. The shrine has some nice small touches and one of my favorites is the child hood picture of Sid.

Nemesis: #1 OK so I am waaayyy beyond burned out about Kick Ass. It is not the fault of the comic, but I feel like a communist saying this but the comic just didn’t appeal to me. I think I got on board around issue 1 but just kind of got tired of it and hell how else was I going to afford those tasty upcoming Blackest Night issues? I skipped over this on Wednesday and almost picked it up. I am not sure why I do this. Maybe my sub conscious is trying to create an out or something to look forward to on the weekend. The way this was explained is what if Batman was a bad guy? I read mostly positive reviews but a lot of them said it was too short or it was like coming into a movie that had been going for 15 minutes or so.

I found this to be a great first issue. I love the look of the Nemesis, I think I just dig all white costumes such as the new Sinestro White Lantern. But it was fairly true to its description, yup evil Batman rules. The Bizzaro world opening is fantastic, where Nemesis talks with the police chief that even resembles Jim Gordon. I always forget how violent comics can be sometimes and how harsh the language can be. I seem to get a lot of DC comics so it is nice to get that shock factor of vivid violence and blue language. The baby face Chief of Police is kind of a cool Sam Elliot customer (maybe Tom Berringer in his prime?) that I am afraid is doomed. I like how you think Nemesis is going to go straight for him but he zig zags and goes up even higher on the hit list to prove a point. I am not sure how many issues this is going to be but I am in even with the lame statement on the front that says Makes Kick Ass Look Like Shit.

Favorite Part: Page 17 Where Nemesis is running around on top of Air Force One and we see the shot from the barrel of a gun and the words “Don’t even think about it, fuck-head”. Classic and it made me laugh at loud.

Vengeance of Moon Knight: Marvel Must Have Collecting issues 1-3: Now this is more like it, if Marvel is going to bend me over for $3.99 an issue then let me enjoy the girth, ugh I just made myself a tad ill. I was unsure about picking this issue up as I was disappointed with up the Moon Knight Down South story arch with the Punisher, ok not disappointed but at times disgusted with the Bro talk between the luchadores and pissed with the bait and switch of the Punisher. And really to be honest I only know one guy who reads Moon Night and he likes it but is by no means a champion for it.

So what pushed this into the weekend compulsive buy stack is they had a great creepy scare crow guy (ok if any comic guy is reading this yeah yeah I apologize for not knowing everything from his name to his favorite smoothie flavor I just like scary scare crow men) giving lobotomies and creating an army of brain dead zombies. For the most part this was a good read, I did get a little tired of them continuously brining up the concept of Moon Knight did not murder the bad guys. OK we get it he is fighting the urge or compulsion to skin and maim his foes.

I was really excited to see the Sentry while flipping through the issue but upon further read I felt like that angle kind of went nowhere. Sure it was interesting to see him pulling Moon Knight along with him while running his super hero errands but where is the action? At least the parts with The Hood paid off, I love the Hood and am glad he is involved with the task of building a gang and going after someone. The last issue with the Bushman resurrection was the best of them but I found the Spidey part odd and out of place, he is making jokes about Facebook and then once again we are reminded how amazing it is Moon Knight didn’t eat their skin and drop kick their entrails. I saw issue 4 out but passed… well for now. In these rough times I am going to take my changes in the fifty cent bin.

Favorite Part: Page 61 Where the scare crow climbs into the asylum through the gates and says soon the inmates will be running the asylum.

Sunday’s pick- ups in order:
1.Nemesis #1
2.Hellblazer #265
3.Vengeance of Moon Knight: Marvel Must Have

Friday, March 26, 2010

First and Ten... The Journey Begins... again

When I am on my deathbed, or shall I say if I am lucky enough to have some time to reflect my life before I die I wonder if I will regret all the time I sat at the keyboard or with notebook writing about silly things like wrestling or comics. Will in those last moments will I wonder what possessed my mid 30s self to watch all 80 episodes of the HBO series 1st and Ten.

I had been on the fence about picking this up and then one day at a Walmart in Mountain View I said what the fuck. I am not sure but it might have been one of the first days that I found the Wal Mart. And I know that sounds bizarre in many ways as they are everywhere but out here it is a little harder to find one. A good Saturday that makes me homesick out here is if I go to the Wal Mart and then have Chiles for lunch. Many enlightened ones in my general vicinity would look at this as hill billyish and the epitome of what is wrong with this dumpy German kids from Western Kansas but hey I say it is the chunks of sausage in the mother fucking gravy. So I braved the people circling the five dollar DVD bin and glanced at the shelf to see for $5 1st and Ten the full show.

I have fond memories of this show and many times when I see certain actors I still associate them with their 1st and Ten characters. Donald Gibb will always be Dr. Death and Delta Burke will never be a Sugar Baker to me but the owner of the Bulls. I have scanned the disc and think I finished most of the first season but I decided I needed to go back and watch with notes. An interesting thing I noticed is around the third or fourth episode they got rid of the laugh track and added nudity. I dare you to find a better trade off in the history of television, canned laughter or beautiful natural eighties boobies?

I also hate how everyone was always so on Delta Burke in later years for being so big. Hey she was always somewhat of a thicker gal but who cares. When I was a young lad in Haysville I remember thinking she was dreamy and I realized I preferred black or brunette hair over the blondes. In one of the early episodes she said “You want some chicken Bob?” and I just thought wow that sounds dirty, so I guess that was the beginning of me reading into things. But then again I recall on an episode of Cheers when Sam and Diane were trying to figure out whose house they would go do it in Diane says about her place “It’s dirty” and Sam says “not if we care about each other”. What my young mind thought Diane was talking about at first was her vagina. So yes the seeds of my depravity began at an early age, thanks Ma and Da for not being so uptight about movies and such, Animal House at 6 a little iffy but it helped warp me to who I am today.

So without further ado I present the 1st and Ten Run downs. I am not sure how I will format this so it is an easy read, it will be a journey back in time. This is the run down of episode one and I should have the notes for 2 done soon. I have a long way to go, about 79 more episodes to be exact.

Episode 1: The Pilot

I saw the name Leslie Easterbrook in the opening credits, is that the blonde sex cop in Police Academy? I should go and look it up on IMDB but I had to unplug the internet cable doo hickey to set at the table. You gotta write about important shit like this at a table, oh and I have a big glass of water and a tumbler of Kamikaze shot mix as I try and make sense of my notes. Holy shit strike that from the record, Delta looks pretty slim and good in the first episode, but sadly episode 2 she starts wearing frumpier outfits. Delta Burke was Kristie Alley before their was A and E and all to do shows about her.

Now I broke one of my rules and did research a little bit about the show. This pilot I guess was for HBO which was trying to appeal to people making television to come over so they could be edgier and not have to worry about FCC regulations. That being said I was shocked at the beginning when Diane catches her husband greasing up tight end Todd Taylor. That is pretty risqué for the eighties I would say. Now days no one would blink an eye. I remember being at my grandma Minnie’s house and HBO had some movie on with Harry Hamlin questioning his straightness and he starts making out with a man and my Grandma jumps up and says “No not in front of the children!” It didn’t really startle me and no not because I have sugar in the tank but I would like to think I was an enlightened young lad. I wish they would have expanded a little more on the story, was Diane being neglected, did her husband still hump her? Did they fire Todd Taylor?

There are a lot of similarities to North Dallas Forty in this episode. The pool party, the new younger QB who is super religious (“Why do I smell like strawberries? Is one of the greatest movie lines, maybe not top ten but top 50) and the aging superstar. Which in this pilot it looked like the new QB star was played by Kent from Real Genius. They seemed to make the Bob Dorsey character a mesh between Nolte and Mac Davis and you sir are no Mac Davis. By the way Mac Davis should have been Burt Reynolds huge in my mind.

This show has that weird 80s thing where it is a comedy but suddenly the music is somber and there is a serious moment. Now it is not as bad as say Family Ties with Alex Keaton and the diet pills but it seems a little out of place when Dian is talking to Roger about how afraid he really is of the Arcolas. The plan is to plant coke and give it to the Bulls and tell them it was from Diane disgracing her and making her sell the Bulls back to her oily filter cigarette smoking butt pirate of a husband (not that there is anything wrong with that matey). So they get a greasy guy that looks like a cross between Taylor Negron and that Gremlins spin off Critter coming out of the toilet to plant coke. But Ernie the disgraced coach that Diane fired comes to the party, keep in mind the wild party with the typical generic keyboard music and no boob showing, and finds the coke saving Diane and his job. All is well with the world and Diane and Ernie are going to take the Bulls to a 500 season ha ha. I am not sure how Ernie getting a tip negates how the whole show they were building up how shitty a job he was doing falling asleep and not knowing players. But hey what did I expect from a pilot.

Laugh out louds for episode: 0

Cringe Worthy moments for episode: lower scale 2-4

Laugh Track: not on for first half of episode, then appears

1. All the white guys on the team are good ole country boys, the only difference is slim country white boy or fat lineman country hick deluxe

2. The star wide receiver Witherspoon is in negotiation for 1 million a year and his agent is very Johnny Cochron. Maybe a young Johnny Cockroach was a fan of this show and after a long night of disco dancing took of his platforms and saw this show and thought hey I should base my whole legal persona on this guy.

3. One of the country boys who I think is a tight end named Mason runs a route to impress Diane and after he runs off she is told how he is a flasher and likes to expose himself. It got me thinking how you almost never hear about that crime anymore. I mean I know it happens but when have you ever heard of a pro athlete doing that, and no I don’t think Big Ben counts. Very original to have that be his celebrity weirdness. Wouldn’t it be funny if instead of pro football players welding guns and punching strippers they had a problem where they mooned people and played the unsuspecting game of is that gum on my pants?

Quotable Bulls:
Diane: “How are your knees?”
Bob Dorsey: “Not as pretty as yours”