Ransom Rambler Part 1

We are a family of old farts who have the hats to prove it

We are a family that grew up on dirt roads with BMXdirt bikes and after Thanksgiving football

We can dribble on those dirt driveways like it was Madison Square Garden or the Dodge City Community Center

Uncles field softball grounders next to NFL greats sisters? Well at least NFL goods sisters

Good enough to be selling tires for Lambos, no not Lambo Field, Lambo Vroom vrooms

He should journey to this Kansas village in a caravan of tents and women with jewels in their navels

But legend is he only visits on the big one…the birth of the other Jesus

Some Pomes (not a typo) from a shitty Thursday night

Satan>NPR

Stay in hell just a bit longer

As hells go it is not half bad

Smells relatively clean

Wait a minute that’s a butthole!!!

Soar Like an Eagle Ye Turkey

Roll over on your side

Parts of this all will be here long gone

She He They It are dust in our lungs

Running the outboard motor

Feet thump wood stained planks from long ago tonight

Stain touched by fingers nimble no more, touched up by tree roots look alikes

Ratted tattered fingers hoisting the bird ad nausea forever oh unfortunate one

Another Flash Journal but in less than 20...ugh

8-7-12 Flash bing bong zoom: I may have cheated on my time for this flash entry but oh well. Who in their right realm will know about this? The butt rockers across the street are doing the musical equivalent of baking a cake…that’s right cover band express. Sweet Home Alabama drifts across the lawns with old cat shit beyond the cracked sidewalks. Is it real or Memorex and what is it like to have stage clothes and to say phrases like “Let’s go get some pussy”. If I am not going to be reincarnitated as a cat how about a butt rocker of some kind, not the older pudgy version but one that applies to that small percentage.

Not sure why but I cannot focus and the last few moments of my drive, mainly in town, I felt off. Bright spot and someone rushed up and honked on me. Hmm if they knew my silly phone call would that change it all? Nope if a lady getting smushed accordion style probably for no good reason has no effect than no, just no. I read an article for work and I wonder who writes this shit? No insight, nothing even remotely entertaining (well one drawing was kind of cool and I chalk that up more to the font and lines not the message). I hope I can focus and take the exit onto Big Boy highway, but then again across the street they are ripping into a version of Smoking in the Boys Room, maybe they have the answers figured out.

I heart the following:

My new compost bin: not being a hippy just a guy who wants to make some muck and maybe wear a headband or two. I feel kind of energized at times; I wanna be a writer who can play tennis make compost and help folks and get that weird tingly feeling. The tingly is when you do something out of character IE When I told me sister she was a bitch in Grandma’s kitchen when we were kids and when I suddenly decided to help some folks by Home Depot.

Rubber figures: I am not the only one as what I can tell from the web. This week The Other World is on my mind. I have a few and have no back story of when I picked up these toys. I notice I am enjoying more Conan kind of story ideas. Give me a super hero with a sword and I am in heaven.

11:22.9 in and I decided to go for a walk, it was a nice one even with the rape van neighborhood and Mad Max jeeps and trucks circling away. Come back to chit chat and wind down for bed but instead wide down the road to hell and sulking. The phrase “You have got to be out of your god damn mind” keeps going thru what is left of mine. It is after ten on a school night and I am pretty sure I am at a loss at how to double my salary. Steam shower times squared and I feel defeated and left out. That guy with the funny white head band who got a jittery jolt from helping out some folks is looking sad and wondering where this guy came in. He is a mumbler who grumbles and mutters under his breath and always threatens quitting. Quit a state, a job and anything that stands in his way.

20 minutes or less or it is FREE journal

Walking to my Dinner; a ramble in 20 minutes or less by John S. Berry kinda the second as I was named partially after my dad’s dad and the middle part…well that swishy middle name came from my pa’s friend who died in Vietnam. On with the show!!!

New plan is not so much derailed but maybe up on one wheel, kind of like coaxing a car on fumes or driving on a semi flat tire to get air at the filling station. I need to shed some beef (thanks for that phrase John Candy) and decided after my visit home it would be a good time to. May get a bike but gotta wait til' payday. Tonight I took one of my good old fashioned space cadet walks. I realized almost home that I have been going on these walks since the 7^th grade. I used to walk up to these hills (more like lumps) and just sit up there and enjoy the breeze and think about writing projects, girls and what it all means. I am not sure if it is sad or a truth of endurance that 20 plus years later I still don’t have a good answer for ya. Well the only thing I can tell is I still like girls and breezes.

Tonight I walked thru what felt like the barrio with a dash of the south, which was evident in the town home that was kind of run down and on one side a family from Mexico and the other side white blonder haired people. The kids were playing and all seemed right, later I had the thought that it could be trouble down the road when the kids grow up to be teens and fall in love then break up.

I am still fairly new in these parts so I am still getting a feel for it all. There are similarities to KS. And people do seem a tad nicer. So what I alluded to earlier was I am trying to walk more and eat less. I did so so today but kind of blew it this evening. I have decided to try and implement a few new rules in my life:

1. If I am going to go somewhere to eat IE bad food I will have to walk there and order a small amount. Maybe I am a soda and burger junky and maybe this is a plan akin to methadone.

2. I am trying to cut down on asking what is wrong and also need to cut out the phrase “It’s funny …” and also “It’s odd that…”

3. If I do watch mindless TV I will watch with a notepad to draw during commercials or parts of show or jot down notes or work on poems.

So there are some points for life that have been brewing and I decided to jot em' down in 20 minutes, I should have added the goal as well to write something each day. So what I saw on the walk:

1.    From a distance a girl watering a tiny front lawn, she looked amazing and just oozed sex. I felt uncomfortable on some level and as she set the sprinkler she cupped her ass cheeks and surveyed the lawn…oh she knew (see car washing scene in Cool Hand Luke).

2.    A car stopped and waited for me to get close to them and asked where Pine Street Bar was, uh it is the building behind you. The gal was big and looked like she had put her make up on with a shotgun. The guy kind of squirrelly. I saw them stop and undid my latch on my pack and reached in hoping if I was going to be fucked with they would think I might have something in there like a weapon or anything other than comics and Penal Colony paperback. Oh me such a flair for the dramatic.

3.    As I was almost home a dog kept yipping behind me and I heard the owner say “we don’t know him, no sweetie.” They eventually caught up with me and it was a couple with a tiny black dog and her man looked and sounded like a burnt out Spike Jonze. He was carrying a case of Natural Light beer and as she started talking to me and said her dog really wanted to greet me she started adjusting her ass and pulling at her shorts. I wondered what the rest of their night would be like; would they drink all that beer and pass out with the Olympics on the TV with the sound down?

4.    Oh and last one time is almost up as I was crossing I waited and a car roared up and blew thru the stop sign and he scowled and honked as he did it. He had a fuck the world face on for sure.